Take a bow and exit the stage on the left, Air Jamaica
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- Air Jamaica in motion
![aj_%20plane[1]](http://laurenolauren.files.wordpress.com/2010/04/aj_20plane11.jpg?w=150&h=100 "aj_%20plane[1]")
Tomorrow is the final walk for Air Jamaica staff and uniform, we will never see our colors again, and even if we do it won’t be the same. I will forget how much I hated working at Air Jamaica because the hours were unGodly, the pay was almost invisible and the London flights never arrived on time, but I will remember the pride and the joy it instilled in our people. Air Jamaica may have been running the country into bankruptcy but there was something about seeing the word Jamaica lift off the ground and fly so many feet above us.
I won’t forget, in the early days when they would give us cakes, and fruits and ackee & saltfish as our inflight meal, I will never forget that red-haired flight attendant who took care of me when I went to New York all by myself, I was awe everytime we went on vacation, the staff were always so pretty (no black girl for miles) but hey lets remember good things.
I remember while I was working there I was in baggage claim, and I hated having to deal with short shipped bags I would send them anywhere just to leave early, it made me smile to know someone was naked right now because sent their bag to Heathrow instead of |JFK hahahahahahahahaha. Thats not the point dammit, Air Jamaica was a great airline, with great staff and we will never forget what it ment to us as a people. but look at the bright side, we still have those naked statues in Emancipation park that, that white lady sculpted.
xoxoxo LaurenOLauren
Has girl on Girl taken a new high?
It was always cute to see two girls dancing and kissing each other, so I’ve been told by too many members of the male population. However it was never really admitted, it seems that every girl is coming out as a bisexual, from Katey Perry kissing on girls, Niki Minaj admitting to having them everywhere and the latest Christina Aguilera’s new song “not myself tonight” where she says “tonight I’m kissing on the boys and the girls”.
Now this may sound Uber exciting but is it really, Men have been asking for years for women to be Independent, have women finally done just that. If you think about it, if you’re a woman with money, a good job, good looks then why really would you want to put up with the gruesome chore of having a boyfriend, why sleep with him and wonder if you’re gonna get an orgasm or God forbid he finishes before you do, then what you have to turn to your vibrator or his tongue.
The way I see it men asked women to be less clingy and more independent and that’s what’s happening who knows maybe in a few years men will be completely replaced with shoes, expensive jeans, jewelry and the comfort of our own female company and if you act now you can choose the size & color penis you want from any sex toy shop as those will replace sports bars.
I’m not a prophet just a messenger and just like Burger King sometimes I fuck up the order, or in this case the message. I could be terribly wrong.
however in the meantime, I’m still in love with my penis that happens to belong to my dearest boyfriend whom I affectionately call Mr Cookie, and the only time we ever experience problems is when his back hurts, or he has a headache, or The Khardashians is on or a Beyonce video, or he has a headache, or football is going on, or if he’s on the phone , or if he’s sitting on his favorite side of the couch, or if he’s on the wrong side of the bed, wow I had no idea we had so many issues that hinder our sex life until I started listing them. Maybe me and him need to have a chat.
While we do that be sure to answer my poll,
xoxoxLaurenOLauren
I like when rich people cry
Aright, so they’re rich and they take drugs because they’re unhappy, so what. I’m broke as hell and I’m unhappy.
I’m gonna talk about a couple of things, Sandra Bullock and how the world was shocked that her husband could do what he did to her, google Jesse right now take a look at this man, now doesn’t he look like man who would take a racist picture and sleep with tattooed girls? I actually thought he looked out-of-place with Sandra Bullock and she not knowing that he was like that, please that’s like me saying “My boyfriend would never cheat on me” pssshh he will big deal walk it off, you’re rich go buy a purse or something.
Tikki Barber leaving your 8 months pregnant wife for the young baby sitter, I wish you had married a black woman. Tikki I wish you had married me, because I would be outside your apparent with my pregnant belly and a loaded 9mm automatic gun, shooting like it don’t mean nothing, got me pregnant and then sleeping with another woman, I dare a man to do that to me, hah!! 9/11 will have nothing on the attack that im gonna throw on you.
Heidi and you plastic surgery, oh who gives a fuck if you look like a blow up Wendy doll after it’s been used a few time, nobody likes you any way!
xoxoxoxox LaurenOLauren
Lesbians Fighting and Cheating white people.
Yes Tuesday is now the most exciting day of my week, last night was crazy. But I’m awake today in a great mood, still tired and still laughing, first of all lets start with the group of white folks that were in the VIP, two or three couples, so they aren’t talking to each other in the VIP, the guy walks off and goes to the bathroom, and a minute after she goes, where am I? I’m standing at the best spot in the house, “where I can see all”. They meet in the bathroom corridor and she’s leaning against the wall she’s obviously complaining to him probably said something like “I’m tiered of sneaking around like this” he grabs her chin and kissed her and probably said “soon we will be free to be with each other Helga” she was wearing glasses and she looked nerdy funny I think Helga would be a great name, she mumbled something else while his hand was still on her chin probably said “But….” he kissed her again and probably said :”shhhhh” then he walked off and left Helga in the hall way straightening her clothes and adjusting her glasses. hahahaha it was a scene from a movie, gosh I love white people.
Now when I was going home some girls, apparently two different groups of “lesbians” one was a couple and one was a group of I think 4 girls I dunno one of the group of 4 girls made a move on a member of the two girl couple. But that’s not where it got messy, I don’t know how they ended up in one car but they stopped in the middle of the road and the girl who was the dominating girl in the couple relationship beat the shit out of some English girl that was running up her mouth.
So the English girl got out of the car and was cussing and the next chick got out and grabbed her pinned her to the ground and was pounding her other girls were there and they were all screaming and someone was yelling, “I don’t even like her, I don’t like you” and more screaming and yelling and pounding and all this time I was continuously blowing my bangs out of my eyes so I could see clearly. people I can’t describe to you how severe this fight was, wigs came off, the security just stood there watching he was not getting involved there was a one guy there trying to part it but him by himself couldn’t divide two angry lesbians trying to kill each other over “honey flavored Vagina” People it was crazy!!!!
Note To Self, I will never leave home without my camera.
xoxoxox laurenOlauren
Your Boyfriend is Not your Girlfriend!
I would be a bit ditsy if I thought that my now boyfriend and I were gonna get older, get married and have ugly kids. No I appreciate the relationship for what its worth now, we’re two people having fun enjoying each other, like I’ve said before every relationship prepares me for my greatest relationship ever.
I keep making this mistake and many of my friends do it, “talking to your boyfriends about ANYTHING” biggest mistake the female race ever made next to the wedge heel. Unless he’s Gay there are certain things you must never talk to your boyfriend about, it could further down the line cause serious problems. I’ll tell you why, do you think Men tell us anything worth telling? ok so he told you his friend “Bob” dated a transsexual once and didn’t know, I promise you he would have said that to a stranger on the bus. Ladies please refrain from telling me that he told you he went to jail once, going to jail/prison is a badge of honor to men, it makes them manly and tough, it may also explain his abs.
Here are a few examples of things you shouldn’t tell your boyfriend;
(1) Do not tell him that your best friend is a lesbian and she wants to sleep with you.
(2) Do not tell him you went to a party and you saw your ex and you guys were talking. He does not need to know that.
(3) Do not tell him anything related to your sexual history, eg that time when your ex handcuffed you the car and….. you get the picture.
(4) Do not tell him that you feel insecure in the relationship you two have. Go tell your mother that.
(5) Do not tell him that “George” kissed you one day unsuspectingly. Are you high do you even believe that story?
(6) Do not tell him you got really drunk last night when you went out with your girlfriends. Just trust me, don’t tell him.
along with this list of do not tell hims, there are a number of things you shouldn’t talk to your boyfriend about, it just isn’t worth the stress or the argument. There are a couple of things you should tell him though, always alert him of a new admirer, this will help in the long run when a man is comfortable in a relationship he gets bored and sleeps with some girl he labels in his phone as “kris pure”. You need to never let your guard down act and dress like you don’t have a man and I promise you’ll always have a man. Still go out with your girlfriends and never lose your identity, don’t refer to his house as “home” ever always say “Your House” even if you’re there 90% of the time keep your identity and you should be fine.
xoxoxoxox LaurenOlauren
Women who speak up against sex abuse?
I’m glad I’m a woman so I can speak freely about this, Now it just makes me wonder when a woman in her thirties or older decides to admit that she was molested growing up usually its by a relative, shortly after or during that they release a book inspiring young women all around the world with their confession to drug use and millions of sex partners because “they were trying to find themselves”
I hear it and all I can do is roll my eyes, change the channel and check my acrylic to see if I’m due to go back to my nail tech any time soon. I’m not being negative but why can’t we have a strong female example who didn’t have a fuck up life , why can’t you just be strong without being the poster child for some sort psychological issue that could have led you to a life of destruction but didn’t?
Yes I agree tell some one, talk to some one because keeping it inside does at times makes you come across as mad and many people may find it difficult to understand your behavior, but why do you need to go public with it, another statistic.
I’m not saying that you are to blame, but I kind of think in a little way when we highlight these women the way we do and tie it to their achievements as if it’s the reason, we make more victims of ourselves as women. Why did we have to be broken before we realize we were great, why weren’t we destined for great things because as a child we used to read books instead of playing with that trashy bitch BARBIE.
I just want so bad for the female race to stand up and be strong and stop being victims, you were “Raped”, “molested’, “physically abused’ and you are strong and it can’t stop you from being who you need to be. I mean if you think about it probably 70% of all women have dealt with some sort of abuse, walk it off you’ll live to be better.
Come on women we are not victims, we are not a statistic, we are the ones who nurture and carry tomorrow’s presidents, prophets, and all of the above.
xoxoxox LaurenoLauren
Dating In th City. A Club Privilege event!!
Kingston, Jamaica!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
A speed Dating event
Hello Everyone Lauren Here again. If you haven’t heard i’m telling you now Club Privilege is doing a series of Speed Dating events, The date and Time will be announced. the idea behind it is to take the seriousness out of dating and bring it back to fun and Two people enjoying each other. Also we wanna make sure we don’t hook up anybody with a potential ex convict, so if you’re interested in speed Dating at Club Privilege, then email the club; privilegeloungekgn@gmail.com. Please include a picture of yourself with a mini bio that must include your age, Height, and what you do for a living, please don’t forget your name.
The theme behind the event is “Drink, Laugh, Date”
The feed back already is amazing however there will be limited spots available so if you wanna participate you need to let them know now!!
xoxox LaurenOLauren
Watch where you walk.
Only a fool would walk on a road and not read the signs along the way. only a fool would ignore the warnings he reads on the signs, my mother used to say; “you can see a man’s face, but you cant see his heart” The power behind that statement is earth shaking, we’ve seen it happen to Jesus with Judas, we’ve watched it in many movies, We saw Rita Marley sit back while Bob Marley took all the praise and slept around with all the women who wouldn’t have wanted him when he was living in a tenement yard.
Men have a way of always seeing what’s in it for them, it may look that way on the outside but men never mix business with pleasure. Trust me I know this, the risk must never be theirs. As women we are always forgetting that nothing lasts forever and that just like our good looks, firm skin and gravity defying breast, one day everything will fade, some women are smart enough to walk away with tangible rewards but some of us aren’t so smart and we end up wasting our time on something that eventually leads us to miserable tears and regret.
I hope I’m not confusing anyone with this blog and you can see the moral of my story……” use sleep, and mark death” protect yourself ladies because no man will.
Humans are naturally selfish beings and no one really and truly cares about anybody but themselves so, even when you’re smiling always remember to take into consideration “what’s in it for yourself”
xoxoxoxoxo LaurenOLauren
I want to set Bounty up on a Blind date!
I would love to set Bounty Killer up on a blind date. The top 5 woen i would select are:
CIARA – R&B Artist/ suspected hermaphrodite.
LELA ALI – one of the Baddest Female Boxers.
Elin Woods – Tiger Woods wife
Eve – R&B Artist / ex stripper/ bad ass hood chic
SERENA WILIAMS- Tennis player/ real thick chic
Why Ciara,
She’s a pretty flexible girl, she’s toned and muscular and if she is a Hermaphrodite she has male and female strength. She does not look like the type of girl who would allow a man to hit her. She also posses some of the qualities Bounty Likes she’s tall and dominant.
Why Lela Ali,
Shes a boxer can you imagine Bounty loosing his temper and Lela Ali picking up his fridge and bitch slapping him all over Oak Lands with it? Plus we think it’s time he dated a woman who isnt afraid of him.
Why Elin Woods,
Did you see what she did to Tiger Woods’s car? Did you see how she beat him up?
Why Eve,
Come on now, bounty wouldnt even try to get into a fight with Eve, Eve would be grabbing knives, and all kinds a weapons, no sah Bounty wouldn’t mad.
Why Serena Williams,
I would actually pay money to see this, Serena practicing her arm swing and Bounty comes in cussing, Serena drops her racket, walks over to him grabs him by his neck lifts him off the floor and says, “Shut the fuck up. I’m trying to concentrate” Argument done.
Closing Statements,
We love Bounty Killer, we appreciate what he has done for Dancehall, but he’s not a youth anymore he’s a man, so why the boyish things cant seem to fade? But can we Blame Bounty 100%? I don’t think any woman in her right mind looks at Bounty and thinks he would treat a woman nice, I cant imagine him opening a door, buying a rose, giving a gift, i cant even imagine him even having a conversation with a woman.
So why do women continue to date him, and no one is dating sexy ass Chris Brown???
xoxoxoox LaurenOLauren
To operate or Not
like Many girls before me, I have body issues nothing suicidal but enough to make me consider plastic surgery. Ever since I was young I have always wanted a curvy feminine body, instead my body is slim and slightly athletic even though I’ve only been to a gym once and it was to use their bathroom. So I’m considering getting plastic surgery, have some hip implants done, but everyone around me is saying I should get get my breasts done instead. Now the problem is I don’t have a problem with my breast but when everybody keeps mentioning them, I know am quickly developing an issue with my dam breasts.
So Im currently on the search to find a a good plastic surgeon ho can give me a great deal on my breasts and hips! oh dear. my worries never end.
xoxoxoxo LaurenOLauren
Cinderalla re vamped
is it 12 yet
bleached and torn
Love this look i shall be trying it this very week
Would you buy your girl a sex toy.
will you buy your girlfriend a sex toy?? xoxoxoxo LaurenOLauren
What are you doing in The ATM.
Have you ever ran out of money and need to go to the ATM Machine, you get there and there’s someone in there taking what seems forever, what makes a person go to an atm machine and spend longer that the necessary hmm i dunno say 3 minutes, and 3 minutes is a long time to stand in line waiting, especially if the sun is blazing or God forbid it’s freezing outside.
Time yourself the next time you go into an ATM machine and if you’re taking longer than 2 minutes give and take a minute, so if you’re taking longer than 3 minutes. Hey maybe ATM Machines are not for you and you need to start using the bank. ATM is ideal for withdrawals, balance inquiries and nothing else, unless you’re in a dessert and theres no one else waiting to use it. You should be in and out of an ATM lingering longer than necessary can sometimes attract unwanted attention, like thieves or God forbid angry teenagers.
So come on people don’t take long in the ATM machine,
xoxoxoxox LaurenOLauren
My recipe for good tea.
Hello everyone, Now i have a surprise for everyone, a recipe for , for well a healing tea. As you drink it I swear you feel your body responding. Noew you’ll need three major ingredients, genuine green tea leaves, orange skin and a garlic glove.
I put my ingredients in a glass bowl (orange skin, green tea leaves, garlic glove) then I pour boiling hot water on it and cover the bowl with a cover, leave it for 5 minutes strain away ingredients and drink the liquid. I drink it as is, but you can add a few scoops of sugar if it has trouble going down, it tastes so good, and its good for your body.
When can you drink my tea? After a long weekend of drinking, smoking, sleepless nights or just want to recover from being sick. My ingredients are all store bought stuff you will probably have sitting in your kitchen, except the green tea leaves, my grandfather brought be back a bag from China.
What do I call it? I call it my orange spiced green tea, since i don’t always put garlic in it.
xoxox LaurenOLauren
Jackets and jeans
Blazers
This Facebook thing
Now I have over 3000 friends on facebook, I know maybe 200 of them personally. Now I don’t comment on peoples facebook just because there is something there and I have something to say, no. Im cautious I have to know the person before I comment and it wont be a bad comment unless I’m agreeing with the owner. why is that people feel they can comment and say what they feel like on Lauren Alexanders page, I am not your friend because I show up on your friends list, you do not know me because facebook alerted you that todays my birthday and yesterday I became single.
Be Careful how you comment on my stuff, my facebook page is my facebook page don’t come on it and try to offend me or respond in a manner I might find offensive, not because it says comments on the bottom means I necessarily give a fuck about what you say, nor do I want your comment. I am not always the nicest person, trust me so be careful, I accept all friend requests but please, don’t act like we cool and try be cheeky.
I dont do it to others so i dnt want it done to me.
xoxox LaurenOLauren
Should you tell your parents
Now I’m not a therapist and I dare not act like I know everything but this happens all the time, boys are not exempted but mostly girls. Something bad happens (rape, molestation, some sort of abuse) be it stranger or a family member and some tell their parents and the reaction is not at all what you expected. Your Mother doesn’t believe you, your Aunt thinks your a trouble maker.
My honest advise is speak to your school councilor or therapist because sometimes its easier to talk to someone looking in, because they are unattached to the situation, it makes it easier for them to give you an honest opinion and a true opinion and offer you better help, in approaching your parents or your family.
You have to tell someone because sometimes these things lend themselves to bigger problems, probably not now but a drinking habbit when you hit 25 and you wonder hey where did that come from? So talk to someone and get it sorted out, email me i’m here to offer advise the best I can. People talk better sometimes when they cant see the other person. Thus why catholic churches hide the pastors during confession.
xoxoxo LaurenOLauren
Being Gay, is it really that big of a deal?
Alright so stemming from a conversation I had today while, I pretended to jog in Emancipation Park, about what causes Homosexuality and will i loose my job for saying that Homosexuality is a cause?
Alright I believe that Homosexuality contrary to popular belief is not a disease or something they caught in their mothers belly. I believe its something they learn along the way, you learn to say mommy, daddy for some of us we say asshole, but that’s not the point.
I used to have a lot of male gay friends, and they all said something that was very similar, they would make comments like, “I knew i was gay in 5th grade” or “I’ve been gay for 10 years” they always attach a time to it whether they are aware of it or not. I don’t believe it’s something they are born with, parents play a big role as well as TV and MTV with all those bands with men that look like women and vise versa. Parents should pay attention to their children and there development and monitoring signs, that’s only if you want your children to be you know”normal” but if you don’t mind hey let them grow free, I just want to point out that one detail.
Gay, straight, trans its really about “children growing, what they learn”
xoxox LaurenOLauren
Chillin at Club Privilege
Rene,Loni, Jullieta, me (Lauren)and Tiffanny
my friend Loni, i call her ‘made up” and me.
loni, me and my wicked hair cut
When should you move on to the next one?
Relationships. They come they go. I look around me at how uptown is so similar to Holly Wood in less than a year people brake up out of what seems to be a serious relationship and both parties go into another serious relationship. It makes me wonder was it love, was it just a thing, was it two consenting adults who wanted to have sex with each other for a while so they decided to call each other boyfriend and girlfriend?
Last year April Tisha was your live in girlfriend this April you live in with Tiffanny and you guys are considering getting a fucking poodle and a joint account. Hey call me old fashioned but when I brake up with an ex it takes me more than 5 minutes to get over someone. What are the benefits of waiting I’ll tell you.
I have never publicly reminisced about an Ex, it bothers me. Have you ever been around a guy or girl who always talks about their ex’s “oh Tisha used to do this” oh that sweater belongs to Tony. No you will always hear Lauren talk about cookie, cuz that’s who am with right now, I dnt talk about ex’s when I brake up with them I take time off and practice “Fugetcha” its an old practice pass down through ten generations of my family, all that it is I forget I ever met the person, I don’t say hi to them in public or nothing. I move on.
When you jump into another relationship too fast two things may happen, instead of appreciating the person for them, you either compare them as better than your ex or compare them as worst than your ex.
You have your whole life to spend loving another person, sometimes life is short, sometimes its long but you still have all of your life left to give, so why don’t you take 5 minutes to think about why you loved your ex, why you hate them.
When you do move into your next relationship, it will be more than a rebound I promise. If you’re a friend of mine you will always hear me talk about cookie, that’s where am at now. When we’re done I’ll take time and another 2 yrs later God forbid it takes that long again I’ll move into my best relationship ever, cuz I’ll be so experienced.
Xoxoxox Lauren O Lauren
He Beats her…..
If Bounty killer can get crowd support for beating up his girlfriend then allow me to give Chris Brown a standing ovation a round or two of applause. Now what’s the difference between Rihanna and this girl, I’ll tell you no Jay Z! No Cover girl forcing her to do the right thing.
Bounty physically abused his girlfriend, and when police had him in custody and he got his one phone call he called her and threaten her.
Alright, alright a couple things happened here, she’s a good looking girl with nothing else, no last name of value, no money daddy in a board meeting somewhere, Bounty is probably supporting her, she can go out and fend for herself the old fashion way, or she could drop the charges and tell us how in love they are and he didn’t mean to hit her. Plus the obvious fact that he threatened her life.
Now as far as I’m concerned she dropping the charges is her problem, Bounty killer committed a crime against the state, charge him, how dare you call a woman before a police officer and threaten somebody elses life.
Jamaican police really make me laugh, if it was a taxi man without red plate, you would beat him eh, but Bounty killer is in front of you committing a crime and nothing came out of people, down town at the crowd cheering for him, tear gas them dem rass, shoot them up and lie that somebody pointed a gun to you, come on Jamaican police you lie all the time, you are the most corrupted organization in the world. I expect better from you.
As for our people and this woman beating issue, all I’m gonna say is any guy, who touches my mother or sister, hmmmmm put it this way, I’ll rocking orange like it don’t mean nothing.
Xoxox Lauren O Lauren
