SEX, LIES and GREAT ASSOCIATIONS (part 1)
I think that should be the topic of my first book, “Sex, Lies & Great Associations” four words that describe this tiny makeshift city they call Kingston. The capital of a little Island of people who are described as having big hearts, lots of talent and a laid back attitude. What they forgot to tell you, is that because we’re so small everyone thinks they know you, everyone thinks you owe them an explanation, they all convince themselves that they are so problem free that the only thing left to do is talk about those persons whose life they wish they had.
Whoever told you our little nation is united lied to you, they were probably trying to sell you craft basket, and even though life is simple and sunny, there’s something about kingston Jamaica that not even corruption can describe. It’s a football game pick a side, how do you know which side you’re on? Allow me to help you:
(a) Are you black or brown?
(b) Are you uptown or downtown?
(c) Is your hair curly or kinky?
(d) Are you rich or poor?
(e) what’s your last name?
(f) Who have you dated?
Then you belong over there with that team.
Kingston is one big lie, your friends don’t like you, and the people who associate themselves with you all have a motive and it isn’t to be a shoulder to cry on when you’re sad. Uptown is one big orgy, they’re all sleeping with each other, I could be the evil bitch to point out everyone who has an STD but I won’t. Health records aren’t hard to get when your mom has been a respected pharmacist for 30 years, doesn’t matter where she practices, the government knows everything, EVERYTHING! The garrisons are too busy cussing the government, wishing they were uptown, getting pregnant or getting high, to realize that they are the back bone of every country worldwide, they don’t have to be a statistic.
No one really cares about the finished product, its all about the process, I know it sounds like great wine, but it’s really just cheap labor. I may be speaking in parables and you probably don’t understand what I just wrote, but this is www.laurenolauren.com not wethepeople.com it’s my way or X out of this window. You’re welcomed to comment, but thanks to the latest technology I’m able to see exactly where your IP address is, and if you logged on to facebook in the same session I can find out exactly who you are.
No no please don’t say I’m smart, say you’re stupid. 
Hmmmm sex, lies and great associations, I’d rather die than make this my reality. You girls now know, you dnt have to say Hi if you don’t want to, feel free to ignore but allow me to warn you, ignoring me is a hard thing to do. I walk pass mirrors and stop just to tell my reflection she’s hot every time.
Xoxoxox LaurenOLauren (the definition of real, go look that up in ur English dictionary you stupid hore)
Normalcy slowly returns but will it ever be the same? Day 5
I went to the spa today in the heat of such festivities I realize I really need a wax and a massage. I’ll probably do my nails tomorrow. But it was on my way home that I had an interesting conversation with a taxi driver, he made some good points.
If this man (name we do not say) was providing these people living in (ghetto’s name we do not call) with money, education and all that good stuff and they are willing to fight for him, then why didn’t they fight they’re government or MP for better things like schools, health care etc? Why are you fighting for one man? why is flesh and blood like us all and when he does die there goes the extra $100 to buy cooking oil? Lets fight and make a stand for our children tell your government to drop the price of education and educate our people.
Women were crying about there babies, tell me this why are there so many babies in the ghetto?? You find all the time in the world to get pregnant, pregnancy is such a tedious activity, why I cant understand how come you have all of three or more. get up off your backs and build your community we as Jamaicans will do our part but we have to do it together, please can we fight for something worth fighting for?
Some persons who fought and Died for righteousness are:
MARCUS GARVEY
MARTIN LUTHER KING
ROSA PARKS
JOAN OF ARC
NANNY OF THE MAROONS
These people all fought for things that we are still benefiting from. I’ve said it before, not all men are warriors and not all battles are worth fighting.
xoxoxoxoxox LaurenOLauren
Day 2
It’s Day 2 of this “State of Emergency” drama, I’ve left my friend Loni’s house and I’m now back home, I even left my puppy with her to keep her company this whole thing is scaring her. Her state of Paranoia was becoming contagious and my creative juices slowed I needed to be back in own space, Lauren is never scared especially when death is involved, I don’t care about dying.
My room mate who is an editor at the nations only tv station that is allowed in to the area that is causing havoc to our nation. My roommate isn’t scared of anything, and probably that’s why we’re roommates we’re pretty morbid people.
What contributed to my fear was twitter/ stupid black berry broadcasts and CNN. But when I got out of the electronic world and looked at my real world, heck nothing was going on the only thing wierd going on is that my dog isn’t outside barking at the rain as usual. Is Jamaica going through a serious situation of course we are, am I affected? Of course I am. Am I happy? As a mother fucking bird.
The only thing that pisses me off is that the Caribbean Examinations Council is still making high school kids do there exams even if their schools are being shot up, they don’t care about Jamaica. When Trinidad cheated on their exams they were allowed to do it over, we’re being shot at and nobody cares.
Xoxoxox LaurenOLauren (welcome to my reality)
When should a man be a man
There is a man in my life I dare not say who, but sometimes I overreact and interpret things wrong so I am asking you the public. I was telling this man in my life about a flare up I had with a co-worker at work on Friday, missing the point completely like he usually does, he found a way to pin point the problem on me. Contrary to what men think, women aren’t always looking for answers, women aren’t always looking for the truth, we are sometimes just looking for comfort and pretty words (once again another reason why Lesbianism thrives).
In my furry and not hearing what I want to hear I tell the man in my life goodbye and go back to work. I decided instead of telling him whats really on my mind I will deal with my issues on my own and not speak to him for two days giving me enough time to come to calm. When he asked me what was wrong with me, I did what all women and most men usually do, I blamed my period.
On Sunday Jamaica went into a state of Emergency, being over seas he would see that the situation is actually 10 times bigger than it actually is out here. Monday comes and this man doesn’t pick up the phone and call me and ask me if im ok, instead when I called him, he had the gall to speak to me as if, how dare me expect him to call and make sure I’m not shot dead when I was giving him attitude all weekend?
Now I’m not too familiar with how men are supposed to behave or when they are even supposed to act manly, I don’t have a dad, I went to an all girl high school, I wasn’t allowed to talk to boys until I moved out and my brother lived half way across the world I only saw him in the summer and on Christmas day.
So I’m asking this question, should the man in my life stepped up and shake his childish upsets and call me and offer a comforting word? or did he do the right thing by showing me how much of a prep schooler he could be??
xoxoxoxo LaurenOLauren (looking forward to your responses)
A trick to saving when you’re broke
Banks always have these ads up, about saving in tough times but most times these saving techniques are impossible especially if you’re a young girl, living in a sea of bills and still have an image to maintain.
I started doing this a couple of months ago, and I dare say it works. DON’T SPEND YOUR COINS! plus it doesn’t look cool anyway. How this trick works is like this when you pay for something and you get coins back throw them in your bag, not in your purse, don’t spend them, even if your total is ja$210/ us$2.05, don’t spend the coins so that you won’t break a hard dollar or another one hundred-dollar, instead break the whole money and keep back the change. get a jar or over sized water bottle and throw your coins in it at the end of the day, by the end of the month bring your coins to the bank and lodge it you’ll be surprised how much you saved.
It doesn’t take that much discipline and because your saving in coins its harder to spend them back when they start accumulating, who wants to go to a restaurant with friends and pay in coins? exactly so try this trick and let me know how much you saved.
xoxoxoxoLaurenOLauren
Day 1
Today is the first real day of what The Prime Minister has addressed to be a state of Emergency. At about 3 am my friend and I tried to sleep, but what sounded like a helicopter kept circulating outside, it was so loud it sounded like the helicopter was sitting on top of the roof, we didn’t go to sleep until the sun came out.
A large part of our fear I think stemmed from what we heard on the news, blackberry messenger, twitter and the internet, physically I don’t think we are affected. I got up this morning did some work and gave my dog some cold water, we lounged around and talked about what we think should happen and what better not happen. The day wasn’t bad at all, we dared not go outside though, we’ve been inside just in case anything were to happen. It’s pretty much human knowledge that what is happening now, is because of years of corruption, i’m not talking about paying somebody at the tax office to make sure you get through faster or don’t join a line. I’m talking about politicians who shake hands with these criminals, so that they will have the power, or the image of power they so desire.
What will happen now? Our country is now tainted with the image of a barbaric people, we can only look to ourselves to fix this mess, it is in our best interest.
As a Jamaican am i sorry for these persons living in the garrisons, who have supported these Dons and made them the super humans they are today, I beg to plea the 5th.
xoxoxoxo Lauren O Lauren
State of Emergency
My friend and Loni and I are sitting on the floor in her tiny walk in closet, my puppy, what seemed like a sweet gift from my boyfriend who is probably sleeping comfortably right now in a country which is not jamaica, is driving us both mad. We can hear gunshots, at her Uptown address, its pitch black outside and we’re so scared we’re both whispering and sitting in darkness not even listening to the radio. My clueless puppy wants to play, I’m wondering if giving him cough syrup will kill him either way he will shut up and stop annoying us.
I’m trying to remember the events that lead up to this, so sheltered in my own little world that I didn’t see this coming, I’ve never heard of this man who has Jamaica in hostage before a month and a half, our Prime Minister lied to us, then he addressed the nation and told us to remain calm in the same sentence he told us he has issued a state of emergency! CNN paints us as a war zone, our airports are closed and law abiding citizens wonder has the Law deceived us. All these years when they spoke about elections and the areas they were tied to, as a little girl growing up I thought it was just ignorant people having conversation, but now after years on top of years of corruption every jamaican in kingston right now is on edge because some men are more power hungry than some. A couple years from now, this will be on a history test, that our off springs didn’t study for, but for those of us who are living it now, it’s a moment we never imagined.
Wow, one man has caused our nation to come to its knees, is it because for years our government refused to educate the people, could more degrees, prevent what’s happening now? I hope the government will put aside their egotistical need for power and make Education more attainable, crime and violence may be the brain child of scholars but its the handy work of the ignorant and hungry.
Xoxoxo LaurenoLauren, “pray for us sinners”
you’ll never be able to leave him,
Wow, here I am again another blog about boys. In college I was really good friends with this chick, until I had a conversation with her today that opened my eyes to something else.
A lot of you women are just lucky groopies, listen to my reasoning, you date these men who you think will maximize your wealth value, if you dingbats know what that means. If you do disregard that statement I can be a rude bitch at times, I’m mad at the world cause my breasts are small. Some men make you to brake, to brake you. Build you up and then tear you down like a house he doesn’t like.
While you may go to the hairdresser every week, drive his car, and have his kids at the end of the day all you have sweetheart is a man. He will never build you to make it without him, are you crazy, you can drive his Benz up and down like its actually yours, you cook, you live together and he talks to you about stuff, heck you even have a child together. Sweetheart that child is similar to a pair of handcuffs, one end on your wrist and the next end is on a chair in a beautiful mansion, the keys are in his pocket.
The first time you ever experienced expensive red wine was when he took you for dinner, the first time you ever stayed in a 5 star hotel is when he brought you along on his layover.
Now call me cocky, or just madly inlove with myself, but the idea of a man allowing me to experience something doesn’t enthuse me at all, now I love money I really do, that’s the thing about money, you can give it to me and I spend it how I want, certain things I dnt really want from a man unless I can give it to myself, oddly or if I dnt plan to see him again, or even better give it to me and we’ve never had sex I’ll feel like I won it.
I want to be great one day, and I dnt want to be living in a house where his name is on the title or driving a car that he may one day take back from me. I want to build Lauren the brand any guy I’m seeing must understand that my name comes first and you well, you my dear fit right now like a nice black dress. Trust me I don’t plan to be wearing the same black dress forever.
Xoxoxo LaurenOLauren ( remember ladies don’t let him fool you when he leaves you what will you have?)
The women who make it bad for us.
I am no angel, I have made a world wind of mistakes my life is in constant motion and movement, I am a woman and this is a man’s world, fueled by femininity.
Women wonder why men treat us like we are not worth much, look into yourself, if you date a man who beats women, do you deserve pity? If you date a man who plainly disrespects women and you’re proud of yourself, what’s your excuse.
You women are the mothers who raise these troubled talibans who cause Jamaica to be in this mess we are in now. OK fine you want to party, get drunk and smoke weed with certain kind of men, fine but everything has a time and a place that time in your life shouldn’t be when you have a child and you need to start thinking about someone else’s life. You’re a selfish bitch if the only person you can think about is yourself and how much you think you’ve been through.
I’m 23 years old and I don’t have a child, I’ve never been pregnant, and i’m also not a virgin, I don’t think I’m exceptionally smart. So how comes, so many girls around me are getting pregnant like its party flyer that you pick up on the street? You cant be that religious that you refuse to use condoms, morning after or have a fucking abortion, clearly not because you’re still bouncing around at parties and smoking weed with friends.
I don’t know what to say, I wish I could say Women are precious gems but some of these girls are just fucking bitches, who deserve to be treated like fools.
xoxoxoxo LaurenOLauren (dear God do not give me a daughter)
Dear Cookie
i saw these : Christian Louboutin Madame Tall Mesh Boots and I thought of you. They look just like you, I could stare at them when you go away you know. *sigh* can we afford them babe???
The old me
a pic of me when I was 21
He doesn’t want to be in a relationship, he doesn’t like labels.
Tricky, Tricky, very tricky, once again another conversation topic came up that I felt I indeed have superior knowledge. What do you do when you meet a guy and he says he doesn’t like labels, or he isn’t ready for a relationship. Guys try to test women sometimes similar to when you buy a dress and then realize “nah this doesn’t fit right, it flattens my ass”. Men do that with women, don’t sweat it, think of it this way would you leave your 6 inch suede pumps in the rain without covering it? of course not you’re smart. Think the same with men, while your dating them you’re a suede shoes in the rain, look for cover aka keep your options OPEN!! If he decides that you don’t its OK there’s another guy out there who thinks suede pumps are sexy (for a lack of a better term)
Just run with it, most times if you act like it don’t mean anything, like overnight they literally start referring to you as their girlfriends, before they didn’t want you to tell your friends, now he’s insulted that you still say you’re single. Before when he didn’t want any titles, he used to say dumb shit like, “yeah i don’t mind if other guys like you, or call you or wanna date you. we’re just having fun” Then if he recognizes a guy who he thinks could be valuable competition and someone that you could like, he’ll ban you from seeing that guy.
Men are territorial and they cant really have, Men have mastered the art into letting women think; we never really have them, So play them back don’t ever let a guy feel comfortable, or that he has all of you, unless he buys you a Canary yellow diamond engagement ring of 5 carat Loupe Clean and excellent cut
plus 2 trilliant side diamonds of 3 carat, then goddammit your his, tattoo his name on your forehead if all else fails, a ring valued all this money will buy you a small house and a lease on a nice Honda, #imjustsaying.
Guy says he4 doesn’t like labels, look at him smile and say: “Dammit me neither, thank God” keep your options open ladies remember don’t get your suede’s wet.
xoxoxox LaurenOLauren, Im the driest Suede that you ever did see!!! (fill out the poll below)
why wont he leave his wife for me?
While girls played with Barbie’s and dreamt about getting married, boys played with cars and thought girls were disgusting.
When a man says to his friends I’m getting married he has to prepare for them to laugh at him, and taunt and tease him about sleeping with one girl for the rest of his life. What I’m saying is it takes a lot for a guy to decide to marry a girl, as women we look forward to a big wedding dress, as some say the wedding is ours, the bill is his and the tortures of pms and other things are inherited unto our husbands.
So why then do you think he’s going to leave his wife after all the trouble he’s went through with her, to do what do it again with you?
I agree sometimes men leave their wives for the girl who gives it up in the back seat of the car so they won’t get caught. No its easier to stay married to your wife, and sleep around here or there and then still remember hey this is why I married her, I love her, yeah she’s gained a 100 pounds, yeah she’s certified mad but she was there for me since day 1. Men who leave their wives for mistresses are an exception, women who get upset because “he said he was gonna leave his wife, he’s unhappy” are the fucking rule.
Have I ever been with a married man? Not to my knowledge, would I wanna date a married man? Of course I want to someday, why? Because its like an interest free loan at the bank.
He won’t ask me where I’m coming fron (he has no right at all) I can still party with my friends at night cuz he has to get back to the misses, and I can still keep my options open in case I find a new man. Ps I still get the money, hassle free yeah!!
Girls who get their hearts broken over married men, a word of advise from a woman who knows everything, stop crying it makes you look ugly.
Xoxoxoxo LaurenOLauren
Please dont be like David
I wrote a full interpretation on psalms 109 once on my tumblr.
I don’t own a bible, the first bible I ever owned was on my booklist for Prep school, I think I was 5. However from time to time the bible makes for great reading, in Psalms 109, David is asking God for forgiveness, begging him to free him or his worries, poverty and all the ailments of life, in the same breath David wishes monstrous things upon his enemies. He asked God to make their children grow up fatherless, and that even when they ask for forgiveness God mustnt forgive them.
Throughout the whole thing I’m rolling with laughter, because many christians are like David, you want God to work miracles for you, you want him to forgive you but then in the space you dnt want him to do that for someone else?
Many of you are under the impression that God is employed to you, God is not on your payroll! God is not sitting down doing nothing but dusting your problems away?
I am far from christian but I believe that if you’re going to God then go to him with a clean heart, don’t be like David who wants forgiveness but does not wish it on anyone else. You cannot say God help my friend but punish all the “crosses” who spreads rumor about him. I standing on the outside looking in, a reasonable position for a reasonable man (Law terminology) it makes me sad what should be bringing us closer isn’t everyone is taking it personal and wishing all kinds of things, you have yet to see moral of the story.
In Buhbddism they have a story about a man who is hungry and suffering, the king gave him what we christians would call a calf for him to skin it and cook it, it should last him for a while. The only thing sharp enough to cut it is on top of a mountain, instead of going for the sharp instrument to cut it, in his selfishness and greed the man drags the calf to the top of the hill with him to skin it there. What happens next he gets to the top and the instrument isn’t sharp enough, to sharpen it he has to use a stone, located at the bottom of the hill, on his way down he dies, and vultures feed for days on his calf.
People please do not allow the devil to distract you from what is important, don’t forget the moral of the story, do not be like David.
Xoxoxo LaurenOLauren, no relation whatsoever.
HATE ME IM PERFECT!!!!
Alright I know a lot is happening but my grandfather used to say “The show must, Must go on”
In the heat of it all, Lauren (me) happen to discover more haters everyday so I thought I’de answer a few questions.
1 Yes I am perfect, I have the perfect body, the perfect smile, the perfect family, the perfect vagina and I live in a perfect world.
2 Who is cookie?
Cookie is a figment of my imagination, I created him in my perfect world to make you sad girls jealous. Is it working?
3. So all along Cookie never existed.
Cookie exists sometimes, cookie can be a person, place or thing. For you dunce tricks Cookie is a noun. Hes whichever guy Im with, whatever book i’m reading, or whichever store i find a good sale.
4 Whats my claim to fame?
PERFECTION!!!!!
5 Why should you worry?
Cause Bitch I’m everything your man needs and everything you wanna be. But you should consider killing yourself and ending it all if it upsets you so much.
6 Whats next on my agenda?
World domination, and loving my cookie every minute everyday. Kiss kiss kiss cookie!!!
xoxoxo LaurenOLauren the perfect one.
Be Careful how you progress round some people.
Allow me to speak about my self in third person. Lauren Dunn has never been afraid to say she is badmind, if I envy someone I am not afraid to say it.
Sometimes when you trying to do something with your life there are gonna be people who not gonna like it, they will make you feel bad because you pushing forward. My mother used to say if you come from ghetto and get rich move, and move fast because your goodwill becomes a conflict of interest.
No matter what you do, they still gonna pass nasty comments as if you did something wrong. I wouldn’t advise anyone who starts to make waves with their life to hang around the same old friends that they used to, because some people hearts just aren’t clean. Listen to all the shit I talk about Rihanna my fellow Caribbean sister its honestly because I envy her and wish it was me.
For any one out there who thinks I own anything, I don’t own anything, for anyone out there who think I am trying to give there girlfriend to money man, I am not that good of a friend. I wouldn’t give anybody a money man and I am here still poor! For anyone who thinks I bad mind them for there new blackberry bold 2, that may be true, because my phone doesn’t work so well, but I would box your phone out of your hand. Come on i have class, I would wait till your not looking then grab it and help you look for it.
For anyone who thinks I am secretly “looking” (trying to date) their girlfriends, come now! no man or woman to me like Cookie. Please try again.
I don’t wish bad for anybody, except Rihanna I hope she trips cho!
Bwoy you can’t do anything right, but my mother used to say, “weh chicken merry hawk deh near” what that means is smile now cry later.
xoxoxoxo LaurenOLauren
Blame yourself for this Jamaica
well well well, isn’t it a sad day? who should we blame the young man who did it? or the society that glorifies crime and make it cool? hmmmm.
Whether entertainers like it or not, whether jamaicans like it or not you are to blame. You glorify guns and destructive behaviour, when a man can rape a woman and come out of prison and blaze around the city in his two door BMW and girls still flock to him and he is still treated like a law abiding citizen, even when he’s caught with marijuana in his car. Tell me now which country they do that at? The Bounty killers, The Movados, The Kartels all of you who push badness and violence with your lyrics, no you may not be telling anyone to pick up a gun but you are making it cool, just the same way you made wearing shades at night cool (stupid).
Don’t think I don’t know what it feels like when someone close to you is hurt, a lot of you praying and you have no idea who the young man is (member of dancehall group, Voicemail) , you’ve never even met him. I am not saying you shouldn’t be praying, I am saying when you see crimes being commited open your mouth, this is our country. Last year my world stopped when my mother was robbed, in an attempt to fight her armed robber, she was stabbed several times and admitted into the hospital, I have had several dreams following that with me disciplining the criminal myself. So don’t think I don’t know what some of you are going through.
Enough of this foolishness “buss gun like nothing”, videos with girls giving you oral sex, or you beating some member of your crew. Come on when are we gonna wake up?
Criminals know that 1 the police force is a joke, funnier than Kern Spencer crying in parliment. 2 the criminals know that they will not be treated as the nasty outcast that they. Finger prints pssshhh what Jamaica know boute that?? I saw a lot of comments on twitter today with members of the Jamaica music fraternity getting upset and annoyed at comments that reasonable people were asking, “is now you want to stand against crime? when one of your own get hurt?” Come on cut the bias and admit it no, lets be reasonable.
Jamaica we claim to be a God fearing nation, a nation that believes in God, When any mans time come who are you to stand in the path of Gods work? I don’t agree with this hypocritical behaviour.
I wish for him a speedy recovery, I wish that he does recover, I never wished to see him get hurt. I wish for my nation to wise up, I wish for the government to educate our people, I wish for all ghetto youths to live up and if the only way you see out of your poverty is a life of crime, then I wish for you to commit suicide and go speak to God. I wish for a safe and peaceful world. But we know that these are just wishes and it wont work without everyone putting in the work.
I AM LAURENOLAUREN, the now generation.
FAMOUS (by association).
I’ve always been loud, I’ve always looked like the odd one out I swear even in my family. When my little sister started high school they used to call her Lauren’s little sister even after I graduated, when asked if you knew Lauren it was always “you know Lauren, that crazy girl and she’s loud”?. But never was it Lauren who hung out with (insert name here) never, ever.
All these people who are famous by association seems to be a growing commodity, from Nicole Richie to that girl that hangs out with Rihanna, Mellisa or whatever her name is, these associates don’t mind just hanging around, it saves them the time and energy of 1 building a name on their own, 2 gaining the trust of the group they are trying to infiltrate when someone else has baked the cake all you have to do is eat it.
Even in our very own Dance Hall culture you have these legion of men who have no problem, just walking around or more like walking behind these entertainers who are idolized by millions. If you look at these men who are supposed to have money they all travel with a group of men who really serve no purpose to them but an added expense.
What’s wrong with being Famous by association? Think of it as being guilty by association, why do you want to even undertake something like that, I’d rather be an unknown than be known as your “Know”.
One of the things that has fueled, “Famous” by association is this internet! Twitter, Facebook, Myspace and other social networking sites that allows us all to think we know someone because they @us in a reply of because they “poked” us yesterday. Come on people, grow up and get a life.
xoxoxox LaurenOLauren
ps. I remember reading some bodies BB status once and it said “The Most known unknown”
when should a woman cheat
A very interesting conversation came up today in the “hairdresser”; should women cheat?
Women do cheat that’s a fact, and women cheat better than men that’s another fact, why would a woman cheat?
I can tell you why I would cheat, if I do cheat first of all its not going to be a secret, I’m doing to prove something to the man am with and if you leave at that point or stay is neither here nor there to me. Unlike men most women think very carefully when they cheat and we have to have a solid reason, for a woman to just cheat because the opportunity is there is very rare, it is a well contemplated move. For a woman cheating usually means the ending of a relationship.
When should men worry about their women cheating? When you start getting caught up in other things, women like to talk and we like to feel that you’re listening, if someone else gives us a better deal we’re gonna be going to that vendor. Men sometimes don’t see the signs that lead up to women cheating, and that’s exactly the problem you don’t pay attention or compliment us.
One lady said when her boyfriend confessed to cheating, to make herself feel better she also cheated with an ex. Which is another thing women do a lot of, going back to an ex is easier than giving ourselves to a new man, because sleeping with an ex isn’t really new is it?
So men you need to listen more, pay attention and remain the men we fell for and maybe you won’t have to worry.
LaurenOLauren
The Worste Date I’ve ever been on.
Alright I remember once when I was in New York right, I met this dude on facebook and he was like yeah I wanna take you to Dinner blah blah blah. So I’m like whatever I was gonna buy food anyway.
So this Dude comes to pick me first of all he gets out of his car and comes up to the door step, now immediately I’m turned off when a guy comes to get me why do you need to get out of your car, ok whatever.
Home boy gets out in a big gold jacket, im thinking deliver me from the African Clown. The plot thickens so I get in the car and he claims we’re gonna go to his house and order food, so I’m thinking whatever I’m on my period fool so I don’t even care. Get this apartment that this fool says is “his” and there is a fucking piece of paper on the door from the state or some shit saying the locks have been changed and the place has been ceased. So I said to him “Do you see this” he goes “oh don’t worry about that, it’s been there for a while. Ma friend put it there as a joke” He goes in his pocket take out his keys and for almost ten minutes that fool was trying to open the lock with his key that obviously did not fit anymore, so im like listen I’m gonna go sit in your van until you figure this shit out, it was like January.
So homeboy is there trying to break the door open when the police show up and takes his black ass to the station, I didn’t have to drive with them i stayed in the car while a police officer drove the car, long story cut short they locked his ass up and my girlfriend had to come pick me up.
Talk about a dating nightmare, what I learned that day be careful of people you meet online. ugh!!
LaurenOLauren
The Wince, “what black women have been trying to say”
Finally, now I don’t read Essence Magazine I always thought it was a sham and a mockery to Black women everywhere. A day around my mother and my black conscious sister I picked up Aprils issue and started to flip through it. When I came up on the headline “The wince” followed by a highlighted preview of what it was about, my interest became immediate curiosity I had to read it.
I was blown away! Now everyone knows how I feel about black men dating white women or as I like to say “the unblack women” I don’t like it you can say betrayal, and while I don’t believe in seeing in color I couldn’t quite get out what I was trying to say.
THE WINCE;
………. When our people were enslaved, “Massa” placed his caucasian woman on a pedestal. She was spoiled, revered and angelic, while the black slave woman was overworked, beaten, raped and farmed out like cattle to be mated. She was nothing and neither was our black man. As slavery died for the great good of America, and the movement for equality sputtered to life, the white woman was on the cover of every American magazine. She was the dazzling jewel on every movie screen, the glory of every commercial and television show. She was unequivocally the standard of beauty for this country, firmly unattainable to anyone not of her race. We daughters of the dust were seen as ugly, nappy mammies, good for day work and unwanted children, while our men were thought to be thieving, sex-hungry animals with limited brain capacity.
We reflect on this awful past and recall that if a black man even looked at a white man woman, he would have been lynched, beaten, jailed or shot to death. In the midst of this, Black women and Black men struggled together, mourned together, starved together, braved the hoses and vicious police dogs and died untimely on southern back roads together. These harsh truths lead to what we really feel when we a see a seemingly together brother with a caucasian woman and their children. That feeling is betrayed.
When I read that I was blown away, it’s what I’ve been trying to say all along but couldn’t find the words. It’s almost as if we’re only fit to date black women when they are broken and struggling eh. And while black women also date white women, the reason is purely different, Black women date white men because they don’t like being single parent and we like being treated nice, a compliment here and there. While it seems Black me date white women because ummmmm they have nice hair and breast implants looks way better than them.
Well just had to share that with you guys, I hope my best friend “Stoker” whome I fondly call “Adubeh” cuz he’s African, reads this and wise up.
Xoxoxoxo LaurenOLauren
