My new Fear, is terrifying
I have developed i’m afraid, a new and very abnormal type of Phobia. There is no name for it yet the closest thing to what I have developed is called ‘Optophobia’, which is actually the fear of opening your eye.
It happened to me one day when I was taking a cab home, I remembered a story I had seen on the news of a man who was driving and a stick in the road got caught in his wheel and struck him in his head, paralyzed him. About a minute after that I saw my friend in traffic who happened to have one eye, the other was glass, then it hit me!!! What if something where to poke me in my eye, anything I could just be walking minding my own business when something comes out of nowhere and pokes me in my eye, I’m sitting here typing this with one hand over my eye, I now even contemplate the possibility of my own hand poking my own eye. oh my God this is driving me mad.
I can’t afford to have just one eye! I cant afford to have just one anything especially if I started off with more than one! I honestly don’t know what to do. I haven’t even told cookie because I don’t want him to laugh at me, or tell any members of his oppressed army of angry black men, he calls friends. I wish I had some kind of special goggles to cover my eyes all the time, I’m even scared to use my own eyeliner.
xoxoxoxox laurenoLauren “help me please”
“When is too soon? when its too late I suppose…”
I was on facebook today and I came across a friend of mine’s profile who died a couple of weeks ago, I looked at some of his pictures and remembered something I had told my cousin months ago, I never want to die and they world would have never known I was alive, I refused to live a life that only myself can find join in, Sounds poet but what it really is, is a perfect example of how egotistical I am.
The internet has taken all our lives and made them permanent posters on the walls of its house. No longer will we just die and that’s it, we all are going to live on in this digital world that was created by an egomaniac like myself.
I will never forget to say I love you, I will never hold back the things I really want to say, and because I’m terribly selfish I will pray that I die before you so I never have to say goodbye. We all die too soon when someone has waited till it’s too late to do something. To my friend that died and the ones who have died, I think through out the course of life, our laughs and good times have proven to you all that not even death can make me forget, or regret the times we’ve shared.
To the people who are in my life now, Just know that this is the best time of my life and I’m glad you’re all apart of it, my mom, my sisters, my brother, my few friends and my dearest Cookie Monster. Don’t ever let me die old, I wanna be young and happy forever.
xoxoxoxoxox LaurenOLauren, had way too much. I’m feeling an airy calm
What I like about boys
First of all, Hi my name is Lauren and I’m beyond loud, i apologize I was never stifled during my child hood, I was always allowed and opinion unlike a lot of you. I got praises from my mom when I was rude.
So allow me to tell you what I like about boys, by telling you what I don’t like about boys.
I DO NOT LIKE tattoos all over.
I DO NOT LIKE piercings on men
I DO NOT LIKE men who wear colored pants
I DO NOT LIKE men with hair
I DO NOT LIKE men who go to gym and get too buff.
I DO NOT LIKE men who change their facebook status all the time, you a grown ass man.
I DO NOT LIKE men with too many friends, friends are trouble.
I DO NOT LIKE men with aliases, it squally means you have something to hide.
I DO NOT LIKE men wear labels to the point where, everything in his closet is gucci this, prada, that, or gay this ( did I say gay?)
I DO NOT LIKE men who do not read!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!can you tell me your last author?
I DO NOT LIKE men who are loud and too friendly. Shut up and sit in my shadow fool.
I DO NOT LIKE men who don’t worship me.
I DO NOT LIKE men with baggage, im a 23 year old girl and i don’t burden you with my baggage, so why you giving me yours.
If this blog bothers you then I guess my job here is done.
xxoxoxoxo LaurenoLauren
How Dare Sumfest mock us, how dare you pretend to care.
So Collin Hinds a popular radio personality made a statement on the radio about the whole Chris Brown situation, He said something along the lines of Chris Brown has done his time, I agree lets forgive him.
But Then I heard that the decent caring citizens of Jamaica were out raged, furious, How dare he support Chris Brown for beating up Rihanna, The girl who sang umbrella, the girl who shave the side of her head, the girl who says “rude boy get it up” rude boy she said not good boy!. Never mind we hail and salute the holy “Jah Cure” who was only convicted of RAPE!!! his first performance after prison was at Sumfest the show they want to take Chris Brown from. Yes yes, we are the same Jamaican people who cheered and clapped Bounty Killer when he beat his girlfriend and then proceeded to use his one phone call to threaten her in front of police.
Sumfest and whomever else thinks Chris Brown is the devil, How Dare YOU!!!!!!! How dare you mock all the women who for years suffered from the heavy hands of heartless men, who for years had no one to run to, who for years turned to you for help and you said you want nothing to do with man and woman story.
How dare you mock women all across Jamaica who have been raped, molested and bruised emotionally, physically and physiologically. Excuse me when I say who the fuck is “Robin Rihanna Fenty” compared to any of these women, who have suffered years of abuse, no they didn’t miss an award show because they were having a fight with their boyfriend inside one of his many Lamborghini’s, no, no they were too busy missing out on love, life, and the fruits of their labor. These women took the beatings because when they called Jay Z he was on tour and didn’t have time to come get them and do a remix with Kanye West, they were being mothers, unsatisfied lovers, managing the home, while treating these men’s egos and crying them selves to bed every night, hoping that Jay z will call and say “I’m coming to get you”
So kindly keep your comments to yourself, about female abuse and all kinds a other rubbish, some of you men need to go and support the many kids you have lying around and some of you women need to stop dating the men who are clearly woman beaters, a word to the wise, church men beat women more than normal men, especially if they are seventh day adventist. Rihanna is doing just fine, I saw her yesterday on a website wearing some brand new Alexander Mcqeen jeans, all you ppl biting up yourselves about Chris Brown coming for Sumfest, i bet you haven’t even paid your light bill yet.
bitches am out.
xoxoxoxox LaurenOLauren
Do something at least once a week
Mary Poppins said a “A spoonful of sugar, makes the medicine go down” In life we’re all subjected to our own medicines we have to take, a little sugar will help you digest it better.
A unappreciated secretary might steal stationary, while an underpaid maid might not clean behind all the figurines, that may be her sugar for a nasty medicine she has to take. Whatever you’re doing, your means must justify your ends. Making yourself happy shouldn’t make anybody cry, unless of course they made you cry.
Sometimes society forces us to swallow the awful medicine, telling us that it’s good for us, or sometimes we try change the medicine and end up not getting what we want at all. Everything in life may not be how we want it, you may never find the perfect man, but you’ll find bits and pieces of him in several men, do you settle for one and cry every night or do you take them all and make your self happy?
being a good person may bring you piece of mind, but doing one bad thing a week, even a month may help your sanity. Take a spoonful of sugar with your medicine the next time you swallow it.
xoxoxoxox LaurenOLauren
Black people have stockholm syndrome,
I finally figured it out, I got it the same way Ray J gave it to Kim Khardashian. I finally figured out what was happening in my little island of Kingston Jamaica, and why it’s a legitimate reason.
Black people after being enslaved for so long by the white man, I think most of us has developed “Stockholm Syndrome” According to Wikipedia this is what it is;
“In psychology, Stockholm syndrome is a term used to describe a paradoxical psychological phenomenon wherein hostages express adulation and have positive feelings towards their captors that appear irrational in light of the danger or risk endured by the victims.[1][2] The FBI’s Hostage Barricade Database System shows that roughly 27% of victims show evidence of Stockholm syndrome.[3] The syndrome is named after the Norrmalmstorg robbery of Kreditbanken at Norrmalmstorg in Stockholm, in which the bank robbers held bank employees hostage from August 23 to August 28, 1973. In this case, the victims became emotionally attached to their captors, and even defended them after they were freed from their six-day ordeal. The term “Stockholm Syndrome” was coined by the criminologist and psychiatrist Nils Bejerot, who assisted the police during the robbery, and referred to the syndrome in a news broadcast.[4] It was originally defined by psychiatrist Frank Ochberg to aid the management of hostage situations”
So this is why Jamaicans love brown people and wanna through them in every advertisement, this is why we feel the need to see them in everything. We feel like we’re grateful to them for beating us to tears, breeding us like dogs and leaving us in the sun all day like thick jeans. But at the end of the day they feed us, with just enough food to fatten a rat, but the way we see it, at least they didn’t kill us eh?
Oh the white man our great Conquerer, we owe them so much yet we owe them nothing at all.
xoxoxoox LaurenOLauren
Oh My Jamaica, Chris Brown
SUMFEST one of the biggest reggae stage shows Jamaica has ever seen, had American sensation Chris Brown on its line up. Out of no where came a facebook group advocating to have him removed from the shows line up, clearly because he beat up Rihanna.
Now of course I believe hitting a woman is wrong unless it’s in the middle of sex. There is an “unconfirmed” rumor going around that SUMFEST wants to pull Chris Brown from the line up. This would be all well and noble, if SUMFEST wasn’t JAMAICAN. The country who plays home to Bounty Killer a big influence in the dance hall fraternity more famous for beating up women than he is for saying :bullet, bullet”.
I have a problem with us punishing Chris Brown and not punishing Bounty Killer, did I mention that Bounty Killer is also on the line up.
After he was locked up for beating up yet another girlfriend, he used his one phone call to call her and threaten her, telling her he’s gonna kill her.
Last week I was brushing my hair in my room mates room, and my top was falling off, here was my room mate saying “lauren your nipple is showing” while she sat there naked as the day she was born. Sounds familiar, how can a criminal convict a criminal, how can we say we are dropping Chris Brown just to look good on the world market, but deep down we could care less about “Abuse towards women”
You should stand for something Jamaica or you will fall for anything. I have forgiven Chris Brown, and so has Rihanna. Women get their asses whooped everyday, case in point. Drop Chris Brown and you wont make a penny.
xoxoxox LaurenOLauren
