If I was a rich girl, this is what I would do……

We all have if I was rich moments, I have them so often I’m beginning to think that God is gonna punish me by never making me rich. But I can still dream, I heard a chinese lady say “we don’t pay tax for Dreams, so lets dream big” So What would I do if I was a rich girl, I’ll tell you.

(1) When I get rich the first thing I’m gonna do, is STOP having sex with men. Not because i’m into women, but because i’d be rich so why would i want to continue having lame sex with lame niggas, I did that when I was broke.

(2) I would throw away all my clothes and just wear white t-shirts with the words “Bitch cant you see I’m rich” every single day with blue/black or white jeans.

(3) Yeah i’d make some homes and schools for the underprivileged. However I would put my name on all of them, the kids would use books with my face as the cover.

(4) With my stupid money, i’d do stupid things like pay for advertisement spot in the middle of Prime time news just say, “whose laughing bitches”

(5) Come now what kind of rich person would I be if i didn’t dump all my friends and picked up a dangerous habit like cocaine and got a therapist who would listen to me complain about how my mother, continuously put me down for years. Not to mention the first time she told me I was black, oh dear.

(4) Gee what else do rich girls do? I’d date a guy younger than me and tell him what to do all the time, he’s definitely not allowed to have any friends!

(3) I would definitely develop a drinking habit and why not i’m rich!

(2) I would be mean to people just because i can, and I would send my plate back continuously, “screaming “I said no purple or orange colored food in my fucking plate”

(1) I would brake up with you, so your friends can now have you all to themselves.

xoxoxox lauren O Lauren, Dear God send me lots and lots of money.