Suicide.

Many people have no real clue what suicide is, yeah we’re all aware that its about killing yourself, but under what grounds?

When I was about 15 I read a book called “Veronica decides to Die” its about a girl preparing to finish University in Europe I think it was, she had like one semester left, she was happy, she had perfect skin, she finally had a boyfriend who loved her and one day she decided: “Hey i’m gonna kill myself” Not because she was unhappy like many people thought but because she thought she was at the best time in her life, she didn’t wanna fuck it up, she was living under the theory, that when your on top the only way else to go is down.

Committing Suicide is easier said than done, It’s literally you against yourself. It’s easier to kill someone else than to kill your self because you can intimidate another person, but we really cant intimidate ourselves now can we. In most movies right before someone kills themselves, the producers always show a struggle whether is a two second pause before the victim pulls the trigger or teary cry scene before they jump the cliff. what you’re seeing is a person fighting them self. You are your biggest enemy, whether we believe it or not.

When a person kills them self, it’s not because they’re unhappy! Unhappy people drink, smoke, take drugs whatever! they find something that temporarily relieves them, and that way can work for years. When someone kills them self, It’s like they gave up on life, they just cant be bothered. Think of it as person who just one day quit their job or send in their resignation two weeks before, in this case they would walk around with the thought and exact plans on how they’re gonna do it, and one day they just quit.

Suicide is a person giving up at life, throwing the towel in and saying I’m done no more. It’s not about being unhappy, even though a large percentage of persons who commit suicide are unhappy, being unhappy in this case is like fries with a burger, not the main course of the meal but something to nibble on.

Persons who actually commit suicide can be considered some really wicked persons, to kill yourself is not easy task, if it was trust me we’d all be dead, it’s not a one, two, “Yeah i’m gonna kill myself” then you’re dead. It’s like going in a boxing ring with yourself, a person who knows everything about you, all the past and present moves, by the time you throw a punch you already know where you’re gonna throw it so you block it. Just the same way that boxing match with yourself can go on and on, so can that thought of suicide in your head.

What do we do if someone arounds us say they are going to kill them self? Do you talk them out of it?

If I ever say i’m gonna commit suicide I beg you just leave me to it. If I could have actually killed myself I would have done it long ago.

A person who has failed at their efforts to commit suicide, well thats a whole different blog, i’ll probably tackle it tomorrow.

xoxoxo Lauren O lauren