I don’t Date RICH Men let me tell you why.
Lets get into the meat of this Topic, People misunderstand me sometimes and I see this mistake being made too often, allow me to be this moment of clarity, young girls grab a pen, old girls correct me if I’m wrong all together listen now.
“Now I’m not saying I’m a Gold Digger but I aint fucking with no broke nigga” and while those may be lyrics to Kanye West song baby I can talk about it cuz I’m living it. However I don’t date loaded niggaz and I saw an article in Cosmopolitan that confirmed my theories all you have to do is look around. A man who works a 9 to 5 and makes a decent living will do more for you than the nigga rolling around in the X6. Heres the science behind the situation a man who is “Publicly” rich and drives a Publicly fancy car knows that women will come after him therefore why waste time doing anything nice for you as far as he see’s it, he knows it’s a big deal for your friends to see you in the front of his “Porsche” he knows how good it makes you feel that your boyfriend goes to Abu-Dhabi to buy lunch and has dinner in Paris, Men aren’t stupid.
Thats why some of these girls will get their hair done every two weeks, get mani’s and pedi’s weekly and always have new clothes but these men will never invest in them because it’s not in their best interest to build a woman, a lot of these very rich men are selfish. I look at girls sometimes who date really rich men and wonder why can’t I see the money on her? why is he wearing a Rolex and she isn’t even wearing a watch, you know what I mean, you’ve got 4 cars and your girlfriend takes taxi’s.
Ladies please don’t tell anybody what your man has unless we can see his money on you, don’t think I’m criticizing you because we’ve all been there, but who grows out of it and sees the light deserves the praise.
I tell men the minute I meet them Im materialistic and I love stuff if you can’t make that happen and help me grow then bounce cause I don’t really need a man, I’m going to Trinidad for carnival 2012 jumping in costume and all and i called my mom yesterday and said I dont know how I was gonna pay for my ticket and she sent me the money this morning cash plus extra so don’t think I’m homeless my parents care about me.
So if a man can’t help me create this Dream I’m trying to build I don’t think we’re gonna work, I like my men hard-working and in love with me. You can keep the guys with the fancy cars, they don’t impress me much.
xoxoxoxo Lauren O Lauren
ps HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!!!!
Are boys the new women, what a guy being Co Dependent says about his character
It’s evident by Men’s fashion, the way men complain and how dramatically their species has dropped in height making a man 6ft tall rare to find that Men are becoming the new women, and I’m expecting some where in the near future they will be able to get pregnant and the roles would have made a 180 degree turn.
But today i wanna talk about something that bothers me greatly, this issue of “Codependency”, Women have been famous over the years for being Co dependent always needing to be in a relationship because we’re so fragile and frail. For the record I have never broken up with one guy and immediately gone into another relationship because anything can happen so i give myself space and time to think.
But I see men doing it all the time now, they break up with one very public girlfriend and they’re out in public in less than two weeks with a brand new girl and calling here their girlfriend. It makes me uncomfortable that you cannot be alone for a while, what does that say about your character? what does that say about your self esteem? It says you rely on other peoples opinions, you rely on others for your happiness.
Is your self esteem so low that you constantly have to be around another person, you are uncomfortable with the person you are! internally you are unhappy you will never find what you’re looking for until you find happiness within yourself.
Women need to be extra careful and not just rush into relationships you just don’t know who people are, he could be anxiously waiting for you to say yes to being his girlfriend, but then he has a girl on the side who he will never stop having sex with or multiple girls. The men who hurry to “wife” girls always have a bag a girls fucking on the sides, they are also ten times for likely to pay for a lap dance at a strip club and 20 times more likely to pay for the private room.
Co Dependent men according to psychologist have mommy issues, they either had very demanding mothers who they constantly had to be pleasing be it either with good grades, good behavior not bringing home certain girls etc, etc.
Do our men need our help becoming men? They do need to become Men but it has to start with us stop babying them, let them be men, let them fucking beg.
xoxoxox Lauren O Lauren on the mission to find the real Men.
Boys are my new Drugs, I want lots of them.
*La, LA La La* I met a new boy!!!!!
First let me say this is not a blog about how I’ve been wrong about Men and you just need to find the right one, I still hate men and they’re all the same, but you have to admit when you first meet a guy and he’s really into you because he hasn’t had sex with you yet is the best part.
I love New Boys, they’re like new shoes, as uncomfortable as they are you ignore all of that because they’re pretty, New and this design is fresh from the runway and you’re the first to have them!!! Until they start to give you really bad blisters and you realize you can’t stand in them for more than an hour, then you gradually don’t wear them anymore.
I’m going through that phase now, where I really, really wanna have fun with another person, I want us to be exclusive to each other but without the labels and the stupid “I love you” just know that we have each others back and we have an understanding, there are no real rules because it’s not a real relationship until we get to that bridge, so for now we’re sitting on a blanket on the other side having sandwiches and tea taking a break before we actually cross the bridge. (pretty way of saying it huh)
I am enjoying a man’s company but not dependent on it, so if he leaves it won’t even matter. Boys can be so much fun, but it’s almost like a baby playing with a plastic bag, although when I think of it what is it like when a baby plays with a plastic bag i used to let my baby nephew play with everything, he turned out ok and started reading at age 2, it all depends i suppose.
My advise to women is be smart with men, do not repeat all your steps, with each new dude it’s like starting over or you can continue paying the same role and hope you find the right character to play your love interest or you can change your own character just a little bit. By a certain point in your life you know what works for you, boys do not work for me trust me i’ve done everything so I just enjoy these first couple of months then I accept that something will go wrong and all my ex’s can blame me, it’s ok I woke up feeling like Jesus this morning, cast all burdens on me.
My name is Lauren and I have successfully substituted Drugs (not the illegal ones get your mind out the gutter) for Boys who call me Princess.
xoxoxoxox Lauren O Lauren
The boys that glitter aren’t gold!!!!!
(PS I wrote this on my iPad and using word fess on here is funny tons of mistakes are in here that I can’t correct)
I’ve been caught up with a ton of stuff you’ll see soon!!!
However my sears I can tell you that although I sleep in every day, drink way too much in private and is loosing sight in my left eye at a rapid pace, I am more awake than I have ever been in my whole life, as I walked to the ATM machine this morning a very nice silver two door car windows down and music blaring shot past me at such a speed that it tangled my fucking weave!!! Not to worry I’m wearing remi so it quickly untangled and got back to its luxurious self. The point is the person driving shirtless, tanned and handsome was not the owner of the car!!! The owner of the
car would never drive it at the speed and the tinted windows would never be down. I have a name for men who front with other people’s things, I findly call them “Jenny’s” coming from the French word “Jermain” spelt with a J or G respectively. However this blog is not about the Jenny’s of the world, it’s about us girls and how we allow ourselves to be well not taken serious.
I was in the country this past weekend at stage show of some sort, and u started talking to this man purely by accident and in the heat of the noment, some one I would not talk to on a regular day, he doesn’t look like David Beckham, he doesn’t even travel to let Alone be a foreigner, hes a taxi driver, but for the whole night he kept offering me drinks, asking me what I like, my hand was never empty, even volunteered to drive me back to all the way to Kingston if I wanted to go to the beach! The irony is a man like that would give me anything my heart desires as long as he could afford it, he would live to make me happy, he wouldn’t sleep soundly if he knew some one made me unhappy. But I would never date a man like that, he doesn’t fit into my plastic world, and my plastic friends wouldn’t be nice to him, the plastic places I go wouldn’t let him in, because he only wears T shirts. All women are guilty of something like this we shun the men who would really love us for these glittery men. According to a study done last year, entrepreneurs and seemingly rich men are less likely to give women money or gifts because they use their names to date you and think you should be privileged to date them because they’re rich and they jbow you’ll stick around because you’re hoping he will choose you and maybe marry you or some dumb fairy tale like that. When the men who don’t have much are said to have bigger hearts, why is it that I want to settle for a guy who only looks good on paper and take great side shots shoe looks good in all his pictures?
People always say you shouldn’t settle, but it really all depends on the circumstances. There is this specific guy in my life, let’s call him a fucking mistake!!! While talking to this fucking mistake he says to me he would be going to the country for “Sumfest weekend” ( a big music festival type thing we have yearly, the biggest reggae show on earth) I told him, don’t ask me if I’m going you’re going why don’t you take me with you. The Fucking mistake responds by saying “I’ll be working, I can’t take you with me”
Fair enough, however he went last year and brought his girlfriend, will he be busier this year than he was last year? certainly not, but I was not important to this man, he valued me just the same as he would have valued a heart shape leaf, a really cool find but if he lost it, it would still be just a fucking leaf.
Then there I was in a bar, when this guy I knew was fooling around or whispering sweet something’s to a girl I know, hanging out for the long weekend with some say his girlfriend, some one else said that the girl was not. I think it’s his girlfriend because he’s an asshole not a womanizer he wont take a girl out who is not his girlfriend unless he’s in a foreign country.
That’s when it hit me!! Soon I was gonna be 25 and I will have no excuse for making certain mistakes, I should have learnt from all my mistakes already, I’m a great girl, I’m honest, I listen, I spend hundreds of dollars on Agent Provocateur lingerie, why am I these things to happen? So no I’m not gonna be his side chick, I refuse to be cool anymore, I hope one day some of you girls wake up and realize you’re worth more than a few dollars, and for some pussy who’s too scared to tell his wife he doesn’t love her, to tell you in private how great you are, if he can’t bring you out and public and tell his family about you then why would you even bother, let go of that negativity, somebody is waiting to love you I promise.
Xoxoxoxox Lauren o Lauren, eyes wide open ladies stay awake. #TEAMNOSLEEP #pow
raise your glasses to another dead asshole
Gyal Mathematics (including the Circle)
This has gone on long enough with out me addressing the matter properly so here I am your Moses leading the way with a designer cane. It seems to me that neither Men or Women seem to understand the mathematics of this “Gyal” situation.
Now men I realize you dnt just want one woman, you want more than one, excellent choice sir, two is definitely better than one, and of course three is way better than two, and as we go up well, the more the merrier. So here you are sir spreading your self out among the female population, but like all things diluted the quality begins to diminish. Don’t worry, just call me Moses, to be honest I quite like the sound of that, “Lauren O Lauren the modern day Moses” ( I love it)
Here’s the story, lets take it back to AFRICA, you wanna have a bag a women you must be willing to spend a lot of money!! what are you offering all these women, oh that’s right your idea of amazing sex! muahahahahahahaha!!!!! “good one” yes I know women have changed we’re so materialistic and its always about money and gifts but you made us this way, so shut the fuck up and pay the piper honey!!
We used to be so sweet, we stayed home did what we were told, birthed your kids, nurtured the demons and even raised some of them to become, some of societies menace to date, all in a days work!
But then the cookie crumbled, no fucking pun intended, you disowned your kids, lied, cheated, used us and beat us, so to be fair we made some changes of our own, alas the modern woman was born!! She wears over priced designer stilettos, expects you to pay for them, she’ll think about the kids, she’s not afraid of plastic surgery and she laughs in the face the term “promiscuous woman” You asked for her and here she is.
Women stop allowing these men to turn you into a number with out getting the “numbers” you deserve, you know what I mean!! (Make sure he’s spending on you) There is no relationship that’s perfect! none, I was once heard a phrase “show me a beautiful woman and I’ll show you a man that’s beyond tired of fucking her”. It’s just a part of life what are you gonna do cry about it? Just make the most of it, and evolve to meet the demands of this crazy world we live in. If I wasn’t gonna get shot I would call names, and post BBM conversations with some of these men who can’t wait to risk it all for one night between my thighs, nah they don’t wanna marry me but they’re kinda bored of their super beautiful girlfriends! I look at these girlfriends and think, if he’s cheating on her then what the fuck is happening to me!!!! I’ll never be as pretty as she is, even when I dream about it my dreams look nothing like that!
So with all that said you must decide if you’re gonna play Miss nice and not ask him to pay your car insurance next month, it’s up to you honey!
what is the circle?
The circle, so sacred and soooooo important, so sacred is this circle to me that I date only men who don’t live in Jamaica so that when we break up I don’t see him with a girl in my circle. Let me explain the Circle.
The circle is not necessarily a group of your best female friends, it’s a group of girls you associate yourself with and if anything were to happen to any of your immediate best friends one of these girls would immediately fill that position, in short! It’s very disrespectful for a man to date a member of a girls circle……………………………………….
TO BE CONTINUED log on tomorrow for the full meaning and understanding of the CIRCLE
His Girlfriend is not your problem, she’s his.
First of all let me apologize for having stayed away this long, I feel like an RB singer who cant write good songs anymore cuz I got rich. Blogging just hasn’t been the same for me because I’m not as angry anymore!!
However this blog has been requested and is long over due, what are you going to give up for lent? I’m going to start the Gym next week, I’m giving up my perfect genetics, I’ve never been to the gym before, I never did PE in high school because of my joint problems and asthma so I’m excited to see what it will do for my body and how long I will keep this up.
From the beginning of time men have had “Mistresses” the great Cleopatra at one point was a “Mistress”. Men have this thing where they have their “Girlfriends” who they claim to love, will one day ,marry impregnate and then get separated from, However the love isn’t so strong because they still cheat all the time on these women. Then the poor girls, “Girls on the side” as they are now called because they aren’t lavished like they were back in the day, feel less of a woman because clearly something must be wrong with you why you aren’t the straight up girl.
Then these assholes have the nerve to say to you “I have a girlfriend you know” when you make certain request, where was this girlfriend when he was happily fucking you and telling you “wow you have the best p*%sy in the world” If he says that you, if he dare uses his girlfriend as any kind of excuse not to do anything, I’m telling you to call the bitch up and tell her “Rude girl, do you know where your boyfriend is three times a week”? (Im just guessing a figure here you can add or take away from it). Don’t allow these men to belittle who you are, or push you in a corner like “Baby” You cant enjoy the simple joys of being with him, you can’t really cuddle or fall for him much because he has a “Girlfriend” you cant ask him to take you to dinner because he has a “Girlfriend”, you cant really take anything from him that most men would complain women dnt want from men these days because he’s already giving it to his “Girlfriend”.
The only thing you can take from this man is his penis, which 90% of the time using it won’t guarantee an orgasm or a reaction for that matter. So what do you do? what’s left for you, this is where my expertise comes in *clears throat and adjusts glasses”
Back in the olden days when men had mistresses, they would put them up in nice studio apartments, and give them weekly allowances and fine silks to make clothes, perfumes, powders stuff to make them happy while he plays nice with his wife. Then why is it would you just allow a man to give you his “Penis”? I have vibrators that cost more than the weave I wear , I have special edition ones and one I will never use because it’s terrifying anyways that’s not the point. My point is save your Vagina for something more sensible than a man with a girlfriend, if you meet into an accident at 2 in the morning you can’t even call him because his phone will be off. If you’re going to be a “Girl on the side” please ladies take the Cleopatra approach, a penis is nothing without it’s owner.
Boys if you want to have your cake and eat it too, my dear you have every right, it’s your cake but dnt leave the cashier until you’ve paid for it!! ok thanks lovies!!!
xoxoxoxox LAUREN O LAUREN (remember you can email marketlaurendunn@gmail.com with your concerns and topics)
I’m moody, I hate the color orange & I curse like a sailor
For a long time I thought a lot of things were wrong with me, I thought I had all these flaws that needed fixing and I was lucky if I found a guy who would put up with me. Can I tell you dumbest thing I’ve ever said, (except the time I thought sheep laid eggs, but that’s a different story and that’s not the point. anyways)
Every woman should embrace themselves and love everything about you, or your insecurities will become weapons against you. How many of you have married male friends, and you wonder, “Why the hell did he marry her, she’s such a bitch”. My own brother I love him to death, but he can’t buy shoes unless he gets his wife’s permission and I can barely stay over when I visit New York unless it’s ok with her, and he married her.
My friend told me this week if he went to country on anything but business his girlfriend would know because she would call his friends. Then I thought I’m not that bad? I’m very personal even in my relationships, I like to remain an individual at all cost, to the point where my boyfriend and I have two of everything, two IPADS, Two Lap tops, 2 ipods, 2 of every dam thing we use we share nothing but our time we never share a bill (lol).
So what if we’re hard to deal with sometimes, I promise you there’s a man out there waiting to make you his burden, don’t settle for an ok guy, or a guy who won’t realize you just bought super expensive underwear for him to take off, because I promise there is someone out there who will notice. Don’t think you aren’t the marrying type because we’ve all met married women and wondered which poor soul is married to them.
I’ve also said this before it’s not about the sex, because men don’t have sex with their wives, it’s not about wearing your “fuck me” heels because married women wear kitten heels and flats everywhere. (literally laughing my ass off at this point).
This is not a blog to bask married women or the pussy’s married to them. (now rolling around on the floor)
This is for the women still searching, and the women doubting themselves because they think they’re hard to love, you’re not hard to love and when you find the right man you’ll be happy that all your past relationships didn’t work. Would you wanna be with a man for the rest of your life who told you you’re breast were too small? or that you talk to loud? nope you wanna date someone who sends you a dozen roses by 8am on valentines day!!!!!
xoxoxoxoxo Lauren O Lauren,
Stop waiting for him to love you, find someone who will
Talking money in your relationship. It’s a DO
Hello ladies, hello boys!! Aunty Lauren here.
It’s the beautiful year of 2011, so many things will change this year, lets talk about my favorite topic money. Talking about money is one of the first things I do in any of my relationships, I always ask my boyfriends if they save, do they own their own home, and what do they spend frequently on. I’m an old-fashioned girl so I wanna make sure that if I marry this guy he can provide for me and my kids.
I am urging couples to have that money talk it will solve a lot of discrepancies down the road. The first thing I do when I meet a man is tell him what I expect from him, I expect you to pay for even the air I breath! and that my friend is free. I am an open book, beside the word blunt is my picture, I don’t believe in having secrets and therefore I have none, it just doesn’t make sense to me for a girl to be dating a guy who isn’t badly off and she needs things that he can afford to give her and she’s scared to ask him for it. You should never be afraid to speak about money with your partner, if you are it could be that you don’t see yourself with him years to come.
THINGS YOU SHOULD TALK ABOUT:
(1) what do you owe.
(2) what do you own.
(3) what do you earn.
(4) what do you spend monthly
You wanna have a conversation involving all the above things, another thing you guys want to do is pay attention to each others spending habits. Is he too thrifty and does she spend too much? Does she go shopping every week, while shopping does she watch the prices or does she just pick stuff up? You have to remember you inherit each others debt, I spend like its my last day on earth so I always try to date guys who will appreciate my need for impulse shopping trips as well as being money wise for the both of us.
The second thing that couples shouldn’t do is use money as a weapon, it is not. Withholding money or hiding money won’t do any of you any good (unless that’s your personal thing) Couples use money to control each other and honestly kids that’s just immature and childish, it’s only money and if you have it then I expect you to act mature and responsible.
Now that we’ve had that chat, I want you to go to your partner and say, “lets talk about money, our money”
#POW
xoxoxoxox Lauren O Lauren, money is my favorite subject.
Who you shouldn’t buy a christmas present for, let me tell you
Hello Every one Merry Christmas!! I hope all the gift shopping didn’t leave you broke, I have good news if you’ve already bought this gift you can return it. You don’t have to buy that special guy in your life a gift if you’re not the “straight up girl”. For all my foreign readers, if you are sexually engaged to a man who is emotionally engaged to someone else, this means he is married or has a girlfriend who he takes to staff retreats and family dinners then DO NOT BUY HIM A CHRISTMAS GIFT, it’s the rule why do you want to break such an important rule. However he is supposed to buy you a present and don’t let him back into your vagina until he does, let me elaborate.
Your doing him a favor! he has the best of both worlds, a wife or a girlfriend for public appearances and you on the side to give him what he’s missing at home, and you don’t stand to benefit in any fucking way and I’ll tell you why. You’re a woman you have until your thirty years old till child labour becomes more difficult, your breast sag and as the years go by the more surgery you’ll need before it’s your turn to put on a wedding dress. Your wasting valuable shelf life with MR Happily Married while the man your suppose to be with searches for you.
So if you got him a present for all the nice things he’s done for you this year, “try you best bring it back”, you’re doing him a favor honey and don’t let him tell you he’s being nice to you. Nice is when he files for divorce takes the ring off his wife’s fingers and gets it adjusted to fit yours 
, and awful gesture really now that I double think it but a nice thought if your drunk.
Aren’t you glad you have a blog like this you can turn to for answers to some of lives hardest questions. No I’m not a genius, on second thought I am a genius I always liked sentences that started with Lauren and ended with brilliant and didn’t include the phrase “is not”.
xoxoxoxox Lauren O Lauren, this Christmas I got everything I wanted and I’m very grateful.
The girl on the side, “Oh Dear”
My theory is and will always be, you are the girl on the side until he puts a ring on your finger. I don’t believe in legitimate girlfriends, I don’t care if your accounts are joint and you live together, you aint legitimate until you need a “lawyer” to brake up and you’re fighting for the kids. In a regular relationship when people brake up and there’s a child involved, the child has to stay with it’s mom, because there’s no risk in the woman probably keeping the house if she wins the kids. See where i’m coming from? If you can see my point feel free at this point to take a shot of whatever you’re drinking, if you don’t get it don’t worry I’m also smarter than all my friends not just you.
You are no better than the girl on the side, that he cant take out to fancy restaurants because he doesn’t want his other girl to find out simply because its really easy for him to brake up with the both of you. For all my readers whose bubble i just bursted, don’t worry about it I felt the same way when I found out I was black, I can’t tell you how devastated I was when I went to Amy’s birthday party and hours after we exited the pool my hair still hadn’t gone back to how it was pre-pool *sigh*
The point I believe I’m trying to make is, society turns up it’s noses at “the other girl” but who really has the greener side of the grass, you sitting pretty being wined and dined waiting around for a ring that may never find it’s way to your finger or her, who knows exactly where she stands (whether she admits it or is still lying to herself), most times she’s getting the better sex and if she’s as smart as I think she is she’s being taken care of financially and she maintains a freedom that Independent women pretend to love. (hahahahah even in cyber world i’m funny)
Of course you have stupid girls on the side, just the same as stupid wives and stupid legitimate girlfriends.
How do you fix this? become just like me, dating all the fabulous boys one date at time, one weekend at a time, not looking for a relationship from any of them because they’re all the same and quite frankly i’m bored, but I do like to eat, I like shopping and I love money so if a young man wants to foot the bill and at the same time try to get into my panties then sign me up. My Vagina is sealed up tighter than the ingredient for KFC’s chicken that has kept be buying a wings combo once a week religiously, for almost 4 years (SMH).
kiss kiss, yours truly mama bear.
Can you love someone and Hate their attitude?
Can you love cheese tacos and hate cheese?
I always thought this was a retarded statement, the first time I heard it I had just finished saying how much I Hated Ms Wine, a teacher I had back in the day, when an adult responded to me saying, “You don’t hate her say you hate her attitude”
The person comes with the attitude and if they’re attitude affects you then they affect you also, stop looking at the glass as half full, this isn’t religion its real life and the glass is half empty and the person drives you crazy.
Can I love a man if I don’t love his attitude? I can be a bit perturbed with his attitude, but then it’s up to me to learn to deal with his attitude in a way that is best suited for me.
One of my male readers asked me this question on Facebook, what’s my advise for someone dating a girl who he loves, but he hates her attitude.
First of all assess your feelings, detract the sex, the looks, the way you feel being in public with him/her when everyone is looking at that person with the expression like “wow he’s going out with her”?
Let me use myself as an example, what do I hate about my ex? i’ll list them:
= His friends
= His accent
= His friends
= His generally inconsiderate nature
= His friends
= Him always putting me down
= His friends
= The fact that he criticizes me and makes fun of me in front of all his friends.
= His Friends
Now all the things I just listed, are things about this man that I hated, would I change any of them about him? yes, I would if I could but I appreciate him just the way he was and I was willing to sit with him even though I was miserable. Clearly I didn’t hate his attitude enough to tell him f@*k off.
If you love someone and don’t love the attitude they come with but you’re with them anyway, well then lovies I guess you don’t hate their attitudes do you.
xoxoxox mama bear, Lauren O Lauren
What is it you’re bringing into this relationship?
I got it, gather around ladies I feel like Jesus after the wedding in Galilee, hung over and inspired to do good!
Now we women always wonder, “what’s he doing with her! she’s not even hot” tsk, tsk, tsk, and with all your designer shoes and weekly hair appointments you’ll never mean to him what she does. Unless the guy is a druggist, or a musician (DJ, Rapper, rocker etc) he’s not gonna pick up a random hot girl, if she’s not the “Whole Package”, this sex appeal and sexy-ness that we women like to play on is only a small part of the package and it’s not a major part, not a man who has to get married (pressure from his parents, his moral values, the way he was raised blah blah, blah), a man who has to get married can always marry a nice 6/10 girl, with a great family name, an educational background that carry more weight than a new pair of double D’s on a model chic! and guess what? he’ll make up for it by fucking the model chic with the huge rack on the weekends! Take about 2 for the price of 1.
You have to be bringing something to that relationship if you want a reasonable relationship.
Most girls, fuck that! This is my blog aka my world so lets talk about me and my views, and when I was a little girl or whenever it was that I felt pressured to imagine myself dating a man *sigh*, I always imagined my husband being, odd enough a Doctor, or a lawyer one of those timeless careers! and he must go to work early work all day and get home at 6pm, sometimes he would get home late because he would be working on a really important project that required him to work over time. In my imagination my husband was perfect he read the papers every morning but he read twice as long on a sunday morning when he didn’t have work, and we’d go to the country for short trips and blah, blah kind of like a Mr Brady!!!
Those men don’t marry hot girls!!! unless they have something to contribute, come from a nice family and she must be willing to work for herself and not be reliant on a man, not saying he wont take care of her, but he wants to make sure that if he leaves she’s ok, she’s a great catch and some other guy will pick her up! With that thought ever-present in his mind, he won’t leave her!! EVER out of fear of her having a new “owner”
So ladies you must have more than great sex, and moral support to offer your partner or he won’t stay with you! Unless it’s a basket ball player or those persons who make crazy money! a man is not gonna have his money just being donated to your shopping habit, basket ball players and rappers can afford it, they don’t necessarily need a smart girl who is gonna put up with there, flirtatious behavior, and never being home, so they date girls who have to put up with it, the video girls looking for a way out etc, girls they can fully control! Did you know Kobe Bryant met his current wife on a video set? she was a fucking video girl.
Tiger Woods wife was a baby sitter, you see where I’m coming from? Men with “Dirty Money” (A LOT OF MONEY) don’t want a girl with an opinion, they need a girl that needs them and will have to listen.
xoxoxox Lauren O Lauren i better find my ass a basket ball player, cause seriously I got nothing but great sex and moral support to give you. PS I won’t search your phone and I don’t get jealous of other girls, as long as you keep me studded in MULAH BABY!!!!!
Sleeping with the Boss, doesn’t always mean a promotion!
Let me just say this before I begin todays lesson, “Working with a Business man and a man who can afford to own a business is two very different experiences”.
I’ve read tons of stories online about women who work for their boyfriends, and the complaints are always the same, everyone in the work place thinks you’re not getting enough work, or that you aren’t pulling your weight because “you’re sleeping with the boss”, people in the workplace just don’t like you , its always something. According to statistics that i’ve found online, when men are sleeping with their female bosses, women tend to lighten the work load as it relates to women working for men, the men tend to make the work load heavier. Men always try to show their power while women tend to get swooned and want to make his life easier, unfair isnt it.
But what about, if you were there from the beginning and you are there working your ass off and at the end of the day, all you have to show may just be your used and finished packets of birth control.
When you are going into any sort of business relationship, make sure you have a contract! You wouldn’t go into any legit business with any one without any sort of contract, so why would you enter into one with your boyfriend without a contract? Any man who refuses to sign a contract is not, let me repeat IS NOT A GOOD MAN!! A man who cares about you will want you to feel secured, if his only form of security is telling you, “I got your back” I would advise to be very fucking scared. I agree there are heartless women in this world, but there are so many more heartless men.
What do you do if you bought the bullshit and didn’t get him to sign a contract? No Problem, there was a case I have completely forgotten the name of the case but im sure a lawyer out there knows it you can site this case and it may help you in bringing your boyfriend or lover to court;
There was a man X, there was another man Y who suggested to X let me fix your roof, X said sure if you can fix my roof i’ll give you $10, so Y said sure I’ll fix it. Every day for 1 month Y came to X’s house and worked on the roof. At the end of it X did what any motherfucker would do he told Y that “listen, we don’t have a contract I was just joking around” when the case went to court The defendants lawyer said “your honor there was no written agreement between, these two men. My client was just making a joke with his friend. He didn’t mean for him to actually fix his roof”
The Judge said, “No, there is too much consideration here, Y came to X’s house every day for one month, if X was joking he should have told X at some time during the whole thing, that he was not going to pay the plaintiff.” In that retrospect the judge ruled that X had to pay Y.
Don’t go into any business arrangement with anybody that you are sexually/ relationship involved with, without written agreement. He or she will fuck you over and trust me, they won’t have anything called conscience, they will not feel bad, and all your hard work will literally go to nothing. You can take them to court or you can conveniently wait for everything to blow up, like all things in life, the way it was created it’s the way it will go down!
Working for your boyfriend is really tricky, extremely tricky. It’s very different from sleeping your way to the top because, there are feelings involved. Next time your boyfriend says lets work together, think to your self who has more to lose if the bond is broken, always look out for yourself!
xoxoxox Lauren O Lauren When I start talking a lot of people are gonna be in trouble, for now I’m keeping your secret, but not forever. 
Notes from Ingrid’s Desk, “Man Talk”
I love editors some of my favorite people in the world are editors, My house mate is an editor, and a couple really cool people I know are editors. Can you imagine if we had life editors, if we did something wrong we could just edit it and make it not happen.
So Ingrid was giving me and some girls some advise today as it relates to men, truth of the story is, women don’t hate men and we know you’re not perfect and you make mistakes. But the truth is when you’re thinking about well beings, you aren’t thinking about ours and we know and we understand, thats why you get us pregnant and leave, it comes natural to you.
So we came up with some sure fire ways to not be left on the way side, You may have a rich man now who has you driving a benz truck and living rent free in his overpriced, not big enough yet well decorated apartment somewhere uptown. However when he leaves you, which they most times do, do you think he’s gonna say “here this should be able to keep you on your feet for another year or two” *hahahahaha of course not, he’s gonna leave you and his friends are gonna stop talking to you too*
We live in a selfish word so, as Bugs Bunny used to say: “If you cant beat em join em” That’s right get selfish, and fuck love because love doesn’t pay anybodies bills.
First of all open a US bank account it takes 100 us to start usually, don’t tell anybody about that account, every penny that he gives you just consider half of it as not being yours and change it into US dollars and put it in that account.
Another simple yet effective trick is, whenever he asks you if you have money, Say NO, always, always say no, Don’t have no shame or pride in your game. Just remember when he leaves he takes it all.
Another effective trick is think about your spending, and a lot of the things you think you have to have, Me personally I spend a lot of money a month, from my dramatically high phone bills, to my nails, hair and weekly shoe splurges every week, I spend roughly JMD $150,000 every month. A lot of people thought that I had some rich man throwing his money at me, I didn’t , but because I told myself that I needed all those things so I made sure I always had them, looking back now I wish I had saved more. So according to Ingrid evaluate your spending!
Another major tip according to Ingrid is, his money isn’t yours, nothing he has is yours, but most importantly this man isn’t yours either and like all things that aren’t yours; you may have to return them or the owner will come back and get them.
XOxoxoxo Lauren O Lauren & Ingrid FullWood (professional Editor and TV producer)
The Truth about me & Cookie. (the anticipated cut up story)
Alright, today is October 5, 2010 it’s exactly one month since Cookie and I officially broke up, ummm then again to be honest he broke up with me long before that but I did’t know, he never told me he told his friends but forgot to tell me. I was telling the story of our first date to some of my friends and it was so funny, because he didn’t become an asshole over time, he was an asshole when I met him.
Flash Back couple years ago,
I met Cookie at a party with an army of about 500 hundred men behind him (alright maybe not 500 but more than 5 guys were walking with him). He called me probably four days after I gave him my phone number I remember how confused I was when he called I couldn’t figure out where he was from he sounded, ummmm I don’t want to say retarded, I’ll say adorable. He invited me to dinner or some shit, but when I went there it was him and I think three of his friends, p.s. Cookie and I are never alone unless we’re having sex #fact!
When I got there he was complaining about being cold, I was wearing a little black open sweater with a faux fur collar so I took it off and he tried to force his big arms through it, eventually he just wrapped it around his neck, he made me order my food to go, cause his friends wanted to leave or something. I’ll never forget I ordered pork something not sure what. I know it was pork cause when we left there, he brought me to where he was staying and he didn’t want me to bring the food in his room, cause he didn’t eat pork so he put it in the kitchen, I ended up forgetting it, I’m pretty sure he threw it away and didn’t really rest it in the kitchen.
So I’m in his room and this little boy is trying to take my clothes off, bear in mind he doesn’t know my last name, or know how old I am. Now I’m old-fashioned and I dont believe in fucking on the first date, hell no! so I used an old-time trick I told him I was on my period at first he didn’t believe me, but being the typical man the idea of blood is a scary nightmare, he probably thought it would catch his sheets or his clothes ahahahahaha.
Then like clock work, he magically had somewhere he needed to be, so I was trying to straighten his bed, cuz it was all a mess, I mean I’m not domestic but I was trying to be cute, and Cookie was like “No you don’t have to straighten it, cuz you’re the same one coming back to sleep in it, when I’m done, I’m gonna pick you back up” like I’m stupid. That fool dropped me home and I never heard from him until one week later when I’m pretty sure he was sure my period was and had to be finished! (Fuck my life)
So it’s not like he morphed into an asshole who always has to have his friends around him, he was always an asshole who needs to have his friends around him. I still love him, he’s amazing in the oddest of ways, are we gonna get back together absolutely not, there are just certain qualities about him that I can’t appreciate, the worst thing is to love someone and they not appreciate or be able to see that love. I wish him all the best. I know he’ll have no problem moving on because like a great prophet once said, “may of us will not move on because we never stopped, so we continue” So I stopped but to him it was like whatever, a hole I can jump in when I’m bored.
xoxoxox Lauren o Lauren, another day and I keep getting wiser. Always follow your gut and take note of the little clues earlier in a relationship.
Don’t allow him to move you in!
I grew up on a farm my mom and dad were very poor they had 10 children I was the 10th, hahahahahaha not really I just always wanted to say that ahahahaha.
Now let’s go on to another topic which most women find tricky. I’m 23 years old and I have never lived with a man, yes it could be that I’m annoying, problematic and just too dam loud. It could also be that I’m unwilling to put my trust solely into a man and give up my independence. Girls blush when guys move them in they feel special and loved, but the reality of the situation is you’re now climbing up some very high steps and not using the handle bar what happens when you miss a step, he throws you out and moves another one in. Guys who want there girlfriends to live with them are the guys who cheat while playing monopoly and probably owns a pair of loaded dice. They like to be in control, and if there is anywhere that a man can exude his kingly behavior then it would have to be his home, under his roof where you either do as you’re told or get out.
I don’t know why women keep making this mistake, if you live with him there is no need 87% of the time for him to marry you, he’s already getting the benefits of being married to you, he wakes up beside you, you clean, cook, remind him that the cable bill is still unpaid and one day you’ll miss a day on your pill and he’ll get you pregnant. By then your dreams of getting married in Alexander Mcqueen dress will be neatly replaced with hoping he comes home on time because the baby won’t stop crying.
Don’t give up what is due to you ladies, if he says move in say, sure buy me a ring. He’ll think twice if you mean something to him he’ll buy you a ring and think about it, but if you let him move you in and you refer to each other as Husband and wife, well that’s defeating the purpose, if of course you dnt mind being just live in and out girlfriend and boyfriend for the rest of your life. Look at his track record has he always lived with women? How soon does he move them in? How quickly does he move them out?
Being in a mans house creates room for easy “conformity” you now become “property” like the couch and the plasma tv you go with the decor but come next fall you could be the wrong color and may be replaced with next seasons must have, a sleeker, younger, much more willing version.
Like a lot of things in life, you are told never to jump all in except in Vegas of course, when investing money, investors tell you to keep a little back in case the market collapses, a relationship is like an investment it can collapse any time, always have an alternative, would you go to the middle of the ocean and not bring a life jacket if you said yes your like the fool who didn’t prepare. Men like what they can’t have, they want to control what seems impossible, tell him you won’t move in until he makes you feel like its a permanent move, after all you’re not Jehovahs witness there’s no need for you to be roaming from house to house. Tell him you want a ring its not too much to ask for if he’s willing to move you in after all.
There’s an old Jamaican proverb, “see me and come live wid me, a two different thing”
You may spend weeks at a time at his house, but you go ahead and move in there and see what a difference the situation makes. Don’t take my words lightly ladies.
Xoxox Lauren Alexander, smarter than I appear!
Dear Reader, I got this email a while back,
I’ve scouting my tumblr for old posts and I thought I’de redo a couple of them, here is one from a little over a year ago.
I Received an email today from one of my male readers. Big Up all the men who read my columns, this is the email…….
Hello, i know you dont have a ph’d in psychology but your a woman and that’s enough.
I have been going out with my girlfriend for over 4 1/2 years now, this april 16 will be 5 years.
Since in first couple of years sex was great but then its like the tap turned off. Whats even worse
she is very unaffectionate now. But always wants to come over. I feel like she is my sister now.As a male this is VERY VERY frustrating. I havent cheated on her but i am a male, we CANNOT live without sex, and no masturbation isnt the same, not even close.
How can women expect to have a relationship with a man and then trap them by turning it into a sibling affair with no intimacy and no sex. And im not talking about
demanding it 3 times a day, im talking about maybe 2 to 3 times a week or even once a week. I havent had sex with my girlfriend in 8 months and she doesnt even want me to touch her in any suggestive manner it seems.*sigh*My other male friends complain about this as well. They say they might as well call their girlfriends/wives their sister, cuz really what would be the difference???
I know this isnt one of those Dear Doc articles in the gleaner, but im asking you as a woman, why do women do this.
Because of this, im afraid or certain im never getting married, because it would feel like too much of a trap. im sorry i just love sex too much,
but i want to it be with my woman, im not into cheating around.BTW my sister,oops i mean my girlfriend just turned 25.
Dear young man,I’m going to give you my opinion as a woman, I also asked 3 other of my female friends also because I don’t want to be biased. So we all agreed except one, you know what allow me to start from the top.
Maybe she lost a baby for you, and her appetite for sex has died, maybe you had a fling a couple years back, or recently and it has made her unable to have that sexual emotion for you.
OR……. it could be this, she’s been with you for sooo long she’s reached her peek 25, and she probably out grew you, you aren’t what she wants anymore. She still hangs out with you so maybe she hasn’t found somebody that she wants to stay with just yet, but she definitely doesn’t want a relationship with you. She probably looks at you and wonders why she was with you to begin with, do you financially support her maybe that’s whats keeping her at your house.
My advise move on to a next girl someone who can give you what you want sitting down with someone who makes you unhappy isn’t helping any of you, you’d probably be doing her a favor, she clearly wants out, but whatever you’re giving her (which clearly isn’t sex) she wants to hang on to it.
I’m trying to think of something else that could cause this but nah, that’s it she goodly find a next man, i’m wondering how old you are, if you’re way older than her for sure she wants a young penis.
xoxoxoxox Lauren Alexander, Find happiness sweetheart, its out there.
My neighbor is the girl on the side, *GASP, GASP*
I’ve been really paying attention to my neighbor whose boyfriend drives the “Mature” BMW. So every night this car comes and its there for a couple of hours until really late sometimes, sometimes very early in the morning but never over night, sometimes the car was there in the day time too but only on the weekends.
At first I wasn’t really paying attention but I found a lotta time on my hands and I even noticed that early in the morning my dog gets really annoyed at loud noises, he’s a lot like his mommy eh? Anyways as I was saying so This man is clearly an older man, he wears glasses and always wears a belt in his pants that are always firmly on his waist, awwww! Then I started examining his car, I like to call them the MATURE Car of the working class.
The car of the working class
Lesson 1, When a black man has worked hard for his money he will buy a car that says, Power, class, quality and no I did not do drugs to buy this car. So they won’t buy a fancy two door or a drop top or chrome it out or get the dashboard personalized with the words “HUSTLER”
So right away I thought if you can afford to buy a nice car, then certainly you had other priorities in tact, you must also have a nice house. So then why are you always coming over??? Why don’t you take her to your house, how come she’s always home. I don’t know much about men but I know all the important things:
(1) They wanna have sex with women
(2) They wanna have sex with Women
(3) They like security and like to be in charge
So with that information I know he wouldn’t be driving his expensive car, wearing his expensive linen pants held up by his genuine leather belt, to see her at her “un posh”/ “Not really Beverly hills” apartment now would he? Unless of course, there’s another woman in his town house/ nicely furnished apartment where all the furniture is probably imported from Indonesia. Of Course Mr BMW is married!!!!
My neighbor is the well taken care of “Mistress”, he’s always bringing bags of groceries and he visits her every day, I’ve even heard them having sex! But I know he’s married if he wasn’t he would pick her up instead of stop by. Men are like that, they wanna be in control of the situation so they will bring you to their house, however if they’re married or have a steady girlfriend you my sweet heart aren’t going anywhere near that house.
What are we women to do, some of us never win! It seems some women are destined for a life of left overs and used handbags, expensive hand bags yes! you may even call it a vintage purse! but after a while don’t you wanna new pair? Men constantly complain that all women want from them is their money, but when you get a girl who really cares about you and is willing to “hold you down” do you even fucking want her?
Some women are happy being the woman on the side, eh who am I to say whats right and whats wrong. I do know that my neighbor shouldn’t wear orange eye shadow with that red lipstick again, that’s wrong. I have a very strong clown fear and I couldn’t sleep for days the last time I told her good morning.
Where ever we find happiness, we should stay there,
xoxox Lauren O Lauren
What His friends are telling him and why you should care.
I have figured it out, every one gather around *taps wine bottle with a big fork*. I got it, our whole lives we’ve been getting the messages but ignore them, “birds of a feather flock together” blah, blah, blah.
The next time you meet a guy and you go on a date with him, this is the first question you should ask him;
Do you have very close friends? What do they do? Are any of them married?
You need to know the relationship status of his friends so you can determine where his head is, Men live to fit in, they live to belong unlike us women who bond and have no real problem with standing out here and there men need to feel apart of the brother hood and that means doing what the other brothers are doing! So if all the other brothers are married, he will feel pressured into wanting to get married. I figured it out last night after my fourth drink my mind started to clear and my (insert name of all natural anti depressant here) started to kick in, when I saw one of my “sistrens” engaged I looked at her fiancé and then looked at all his friends and associates, yes children, they were all married!!!!
So if you’re boyfriend’s friends are all little “playboy’s” who have multiple baby mothers honey, I hate to be the one to tell you this but hoping that he marries you may be just wishful thinking. Not impossible but it’s kind of like winning the lottery, it doesn’t happen everyday.
Thats right ladies a man’s friends are sooooo important, unlike women, We put our ultimate trust in the man we’re dating, we change for them even our friends! Men are not going to change for us especially their precious friends, so to avoid hiccups and a bumpy ride make sure from day one that you meet his friends and know what they’re about save yourself some drama.
These are the things his friends are telling him and you should care, by getting married they’re telling him that he should also get married. Ever notice how most men have babies close together? I’ll give you an example I know two guys who are really good friends, One of them their baby mother delivered in November and the other ones baby mother delivered in June of the next year. Trust me on this I know what I’m talking about.
God came to me in a drunken dream, gave me this message and told me to tell women everywhere.
xoxoxox Lauren O Lauren, make sure your man has the right friends!
This is what I want from a MAN or fuck off!
So being the nice and easy go along chick, didn’t work!
I’m joining the millions of women who make lists of the men they want, I’ve never done a list before because to me it’s always been about how the person made me feel, but I’ve have realized that having a list doesn’t hurt.
1- He must be at least 10 years older than me. These extra years add up when you have to deal with petty things like his partying habits and too many random girls pinging him at 2am.
2- He must have structured and predictable days He must have a routine, kind of like a 9 to 5
3- He must come from a two parent home upbringing, he needs to have a relationship with his parents! both of them. I can’t deal the phycological damage and hard work that it goes into dating a broken and angry man, ugh!
4- He must have no baby mothers, i’m over it. I don’t want a man with baggage do you see me burdening you with any baby drama.
5- This entourage of friends I will no longer put up with, you should have a handful of good friends. They all better be married or in solid relationships with bitch wives who demand that they get home at 8 o clock.
6- He must not live with his parents. Fuck that!!
7- He must not be an only child, I’m not even gonna go there with the mothers who wanna fuck there sons!
8- He can be religious but I don’t wanna date a man who is going to church every Sunday and always lecturing me about God Motherfucker I will cut you, move from me with that bible.
9- Honey it is not important for me to meet your mother, you don’t have to take me home. But if you meet my mother (which i doubt will happen) I expect you to be really nice to her and develop a relationship with her. My mother is very important to me so when we pass her house on weekends bring flowers.
10- I’m kind of like a child I demand attention and when I do a good job I want a pat on the back or a sticker that says “superstar”. Your opinion is the only one that matters to me so if you never say anything to me, it’s like pushing me away.
I made a short list for now! As it relates to a guys physical features, nah I don’t really care that much to make a list about it. I just don’t want him to be too fussy and wear too many outstanding labels and too much bling, and i hate braids, so please cut your hair and look like a little boy for me please.
I’ll be your biggest cheerleader and do whatever you want but you gotta be willing to make a fair trade off with me honey. Don’t expect me to be reasonable and sweet when you’re being a jerk and no older than a 12 year old. I want, I need a MAN! If I wanted a woman I would be with one, I’m hot I can get any sex I want, so stop arguing with me and let me bitch until I calm down! I’m the woman in this relationship and I suffer from painful cramps every month, while all you worry about shifting and aligning your penis in your jeans. 
xoxoxox Lauren O Lauren, Dear Santa I know it’s early but for christmas, please don’t give me any more toy soldiers with their fake army’s. Thanks in advance
Could Gay Men make us better Women??
treat your man like shit!! He'll marry you for it
Gay men, ooh lala they get it all don’t they? are they becoming the women we should be, They are loud dramatic and are just not having it!
Should we copy them? Honey last night my Gay friend from Mandevil came to pick me up in his boyfriends new BMW, we went for drinks, all i’m saying is nobody that I ever gave great sex to was giving me their BMW to drive. That’s all!
Gay Men learn from the best real women! or at least what we used to be and this goes back to what I said in yesterday’s blog, you know the one I did on support group. We need to stand up to men and let them know we are more than just holes we can jump in! Im not saying women should become prostitutes, but how much longer do you want to just sit down and put up with being ok, how long have we sat down and gotten pregnant? Forever, so I shouldn’t give young girls advise and turn them into prostitutes but for years women have been very similar to cows, breeding, pushing them out and taking care of them. Then when our breast sag and we begin to age, our men turn to younger girls, flaunt them in public and we should stay home and be quiet because hey! at least i’m the one he’s coming home to! Doesn’t matter if he doesn’t come home every night, but one day he will run out of clean under wear and he may need to return.
When you hear the news or local hair dresser gossip like I do, you realize Gay men are very passionate about their relationships when it starts to go bad, they rip each others eyes out, and shoot each other! Women need to get just as fucking angry, we need to scare our men into submissiveness and trust me honey, they love it!!
The best thing you could do to a man is treat him like shit, they LOVE IT!! I have a really good friend he only dates women who terrify him, he’s always so scared to do anything because he doesn’t know what he’s going to tell his girlfriend, do you think he’s gonna leave her? No she’s going to scare him to the point where he’s going to put a ring on her finger before she kills him in his sleep!
Men like men whether you believe it or not, thats why he forces you to get along with his friends, and that’s why a large portion of them have begun dressing like Kanye West. Lets give men what they want, Don’t pick up the phone after 8pm or before 10 am, tell them you’re busy the first 2 times they ask you out, and every time you answer the phone say “who is this” even though you know exactly who it is!
Most importantly forget important dates like they do all the time, forget his birthday and then call the next day and say its because you were busy.
The goal here is to treat them really bad, don’t worry men love it.
xoxoxox Lauren O Lauren! We love boys!
(Ps this only works if you and your boyfriend live in the same country, trying this while he’s in another country could cause problems. you have to be nice to the fools when they’re not around, because its so easy for them to find your replacement when your not around to hurt them)
Women’s support Group; “Todays Topic MEN”
Hello ladies it’s Muy Lauren O Lauren.
I’m starting a support group, i want to help all women rid themselves of weight! And I’m not talking about body fat, I mean weight that you don’t have to be carrying around. First of all I want to say that even though I have had a reputation for being a bitch. To a lot of men I was always “The Nice Girl” who would never tell, the girl they didn’t have to worry about because nothing much bothered me and even though to the outside world I seemed complex I was pretty simple, I understand everything and I never ever get jealous.
I’m here to tell you that my stupid behavior and many women like me are the reason why men cheat continuously and will still do it. I am here to tell you to stop, stop being a nice girl and become a fucking monster! Men marry bitched they always did and always will.
Scream at the top of your voice and threaten to tell, don’t give them the opportunity to smile and be happy, they don’t deserve it. Save all the texts and all the emails he sent you begging to take you to Italy, because one day you might need them.
Have you ever noticed how the woman on the side who is nice, calm, collected and doesn’t wave to him in public for fear of ruining his reputation always stays the woman on the side? It’s a weird thing, easy go along women end up being single mothers because they are also the ones who are afraid of having an abortion!
Pick up your cell phone and delete every number out of your phone that serves you absolutely no purpose, can you call him and chat? No he lives with his wife! Can he take you out for drinks? no its too risky, does he invite you over? No because then he would have to tell you to leave as oppose to going to your house, doing what he needs to do then saying “whoops look at the time I have a client that is waiting on me” and within 5 minutes he’d be out the door.
I have no problem with women doing something because they want to or have no problem with it, but don’t allow men to be happy in their sin, become complicated make them as miserable as we are once a month. Don’t always be nice and welcoming and definitely don’t ever return their calls!
I know this might be hard for some of us, because sometimes we get so lonely and the only person around are those asshole men, and even though we know there’s nothing more to the relationship other than the probably the whole hour it takes for them to park, undress, fuck, redress and then leave. A lot of women still put up with it.
This is your women’s support group, tell them to fuck off and don’t ever call your phone back, you’de rather date a man who you don’t really like, but who adores you and gives you lots of money than his pointless ass!
I’m Lauren O Lauren, are you in a pointless relationship? tell me about it and i’ll tell you if its really is. Sometimes we need an outsider to help us clear things up.
xoxoxox lauren o
We are Women
if things wont go your way, fuck him up with his own gun
Is cheating good for a woman’s digestive system??
Well if it isn’t it should! How many women do you know have sleepless nights and cant down there foods because they’re tired and stressed. Men cheat for one reason, they are spineless assholes, they just wanna “fuck” no good reason really. Most women don’t have such a charged up sex drive, sex to us is a lot of work, first the mental aspect then we have to prepare our selves for the fate that he may never call again.
So we hardly ever just rush into sex, But the talk in the hair dressers is if “Your man is dogging about” and you cheat on him, you forget why you were angry and it makes you feel 10 million times better than drinking warm coffee in the winter. If you feel guilty after then it’s because your man wasn’t a dog enough. A couple weeks without a word from him, couple mistresses popping up here and there, his friends disrespecting you and sleeping with another man doesn’t seem that hard to do. And Viola no more sleepless nights, and “Buh Bye” heart burn, when he calls feel free to pick up the phone and say: “well hello darling, i’ve missed you terribly”
Men need to cheat to be Men then allow me to add women should cheat to remain sane.
Mind you I’m not telling women to have multiple partners i’m telling you to what you want, because your partner 
will, don’t get caught and don’t do it more than once, your bound to get caught.
So when you cheat, make sure you have a good reason. This should put a stop to your sleepless nights and the next time his friend says something disrespectful you wont even give a fuck.
lauren o lauren I know everything! ( for the record I haven’t cheated yet, something keeps coming up
Play Damsel in distress, take half and be independent. We’re women
An idiot once said “it’s a mans world”, I beg to differ and I want to show you how. Women we sometimes allow men to take our perfect world and put up there smelly gym socks all over it.
I was watching Neyo the other day who is going to be a new father, pretty amazing huh, when the reporter said to him “When are you gonna get married” Neyo’s eyes opened wider than a dilated vagina, he responded by saying “slow down there, not so fast” not the exact same words but the same point. Here I was sitting in front of my room mates television considering mine is broken and I don’t really like TV. I was adjusting the rubber bands on my braces, and had shot myself in the face when one came loose.
How does a man get a woman pregnant but think its a rush to marry her? I’ll tell you why, because stupid women open there legs and are too happy to breed. Pregnancy, I cant stress how awful it is, your shoes don’t fit, you’re fat, and your body does things you cant control, why would you want that, so you can wear the coveted title of “Baby Mama”, he’ll visit you twice a month and send you money on Fridays, you stupid bitch.
Stop allowing these punk ass, half men to fat you up with a bag a kids, his body wont be affected and he can still drink vodka and redbull. Any man that gets me pregnant and tells me he cant marry me, is gonna hear “I fell down and I don’t think I’m pregnant anymore” which quite frankly, for a man to hear that is similar to me hearing spice girls when i was 9 years old, pure bliss.
Take charge of the world like Eve did when she gave Adam the apple, of Delilah when she had sex with Samson then cut his hair off while he slept, those women are women after my own heart.
I urge you keep your legs crossed and don’t get pregnant unless you’ve been with him for longer than 3 years and you can afford to take care of that baby yourself. Why settle for less, do you really wanna be that dudes baby mama??
xoxoxox Lauren o Lauren
