Human’s Do it too, “Smile when there’s no reason”
I have all kinds of mornings, sometimes I wake up and i don’t step outside my front door I stay in bed all day and watch videos on youtube, play Smurf Village on my IPAD and draw stuff in my sketch pad, I refer to them as the days when my mind goes to sleep and my body is left to find something to do.
Then there are days when I wake up and I feel like I can conquer the world, those days are few and far apart but I do get them. “That which is like unto itself is drawn” A simple statement I got out of my latest book The Law of Attraction based on the teachings of Abraham. The better you feel, the better you will be, the more kind thoughts you think then kind things happen to you, I cannot explain what’s been going on with me lately I almost feel like I’m becoming religious. I downloaded the bible on my IPAD and read it every day, I Lauren Dunn have never consciously by my own free will picked up the bible and read it, not only am I reading it but every thing in it is starting to make sense to me, I have some advise for everyone who reads my blogs whatever your reasons for reading it.
Smile more, think positive thoughts, do not think anything that is not good, it isn’t easy but you will grasp it, because you attract unto yourself whatever you think, so if you think “No I do not want to fail this exam” you’ve allowed the thought of failing your exam to enter into your thoughts and even though you do not want to fail your subconscious has already told you you’ll fail and you believe it.
Don’t watch the news if it makes you sad, you can be conscious of whats happening around you without knowing the details, the details are what affect your subconscious mind.
I got a FaceBook email from a high school student who said she felt like she was being bullied a group of girls kept making her feel uncomfortable and she didn’t want to go to school, I responded to her by telling her as long as they didn’t touch her she didn’t have to retaliate, she should try being nice to them talk to them as she would a regular class mate and ignore the things they were saying if she ignored their bullying they would eventually stop. But if they didn’t and she still felt bullied then she should speak with her mom about getting a transfer, that is a polluted environment that will only make her angry and defensive in years to come.
Surround yourself with good things, a good cake needs good ingredients and so does good people, I agree some of us are stronger than some and our environments do not affect our outcome but that’s because we have a beautiful mind.
Keep Sweet and Smile more even if you don’t believe it:
“Hope is the dream of the Walking Man” French proverb
xoxoxo Lauren O Lauren
Tell Mama I’ll be home Late…
25 years baby love, I’ve been walking this earth screaming and kicking my way around for 25 years, We had breakfast this morning across from us was a couple who were probably married for a couple of years, The man never looked at his wife he sat diagonal in his chair and never said anything to her, she sat looking at everything with eyes that looked like they cry every night every now and again she said something to him and he looked at her, nodded and then continued looking into oblivion. Then there was another couple young and obviously in some sort of love, they were babbling to each other in French I was so annoyed and irritated at the fact that I couldn’t understand what they were saying that I was tempted to get up and tell them how rude it was to speak a foreign language in public.
Thats when I realized I haven’t changed that much, Sometimes people change and the world stays the same, sometimes the world changes and people stay the same and thats why it all seems a mess we never seem to sync the whole thing together. This Weekend I turned 25 and it couldn’t have happened on a better day my birthday fell on a saturday so started celebrating on the friday and caught 25 at midnight, I’m gonna completely leave out the bit where I wake up at 4am in the morning throw up that fucking Mcdonald’s I knew I didn’t want but ate anyway. I had an amazing birthday I wore a tiara made from crystals and spent half a day at the Spa.
Night of my birthday I emptied my purse and re organized it, threw away old receipts and broken eyeliners, known as the life of the party yet last night and the pass few weeks when someone says Club or Party I pretend not to feel well, when I do go out by 2am i wanna be in bed, did some shopping on Oxford Circus and I didn’t buy anything black or grey, The Change had already begun.
Gossip doesn’t seem to interest me half enough unless I can get the person on my show and interview them about it, Im looking for that big “Turn Over” bitches unless you can get me a copy of that tape, or this pictures or the accused will agree to an interview on my show I’m not interested in that shit, Im running outta time I gotta make an impact on this earth and I need to do that in this life time, sitting around talking shit with people aint gonna cut it for me, anymore.
I know I’m rambling on, but I hope you can pick a few lessons out of what I’m saying, Don’t ever apologize for the choices you make, Everyone is allowed to make mistakes and the younger you are the more mistakes you can make, as we get older it is our right as growing adults to leave more and more of it behind. By now I would have written a long list of new years resolutions that even I know would be impossible to attain, I didn’t write one this year and I got more done by accident than I could imagine, my new rule never make a to do list that’s more than a week! It’s easier to live today than it is to live tomorrow, tomorrow isn’t here yet.
If you had a life changing experience or something you wanna tell me thats inspiring go ahead an email me “Lolshow1@yahoo.com, and remember I want your comments and recommendations on my dam show!!!
xoxoxo Lauren O Lauren
The Game of Cheating, and how to Win!!
Cheating can be such a painful thing if you aren’t the one who’s cheating, I have regretted every single time a relationship ends and I never cheated I wanna do it over and CHEAT!!
Every Man cheats on his woman, and it’s a scientific fact that EVERY JAMAICAN MAN cheats on his girl, unless he’s Gay then he has no girl therefore he wouldn’t cheat on her, In a discussion I was participating in at the Hairdresser the other day we all agreed that a woman who was cheating on her lover every now an again maybe once a year, found that her relationship was easier to handle, I know for a fact that if you have a boyfriend and there’s another guy whispering sweet somethings in your ear it can be quite fulfilling in areas where your relationship falls short.
Whats the point of all this, where am I going with this blog? I’m trying to say if you cheated on your boyfriend there’s absolutely no reason why you need to tell him and absolutely no reason why you need to feel guilty about it and if you find yourself starting to feel guilty, sit down take a minute and remember every single time you’ve been a good girl and tried to be a wonderful girlfriend with your ex’s or with any of the past men in your life, do you remember what happened next? Exactly! Don’t let it eat you up It’s a different world today than it was years ago allow me to demonstrate:
A Couple years ago men used to leave us at home while they went out to work, now they ask for an independent woman up front and they leave us at home pregnant and never come back, the result is we are raising tomorrow’s men as single angry women. Do I sound Bitter? Good I am.
An article came out in last weeks “Sunday Times” a UK paper my boyfriend feels obligated to read every Sunday about Polygamous Couples being on an all time high. They are regular every day couples who have put the definition “Open relationship” into a whole new meaning. Regular couples are having affairs with the approval of their partners, Husband and Wife having dinner while the husband’s girlfriend is telling them both about her day at work, the wife won’t be at dinner tomorrow because she’s having dinner at her boyfriend’s house.
It’s a new playing field its a new world, before Men could have as many women as they want, there was nothing we could do about but whine to each other about how slutty the other girl looked.
I am encouraging all women, if you have the urge to cheat do it, worried about getting caught? “Say it wasn’t you unless he has you on tape, the guy you had the affair with you’ve never met him before, he’s a crazy psycho who’s been calling your phone and not saying anything for the past 3 weeks, say you’re scared and start crying. Problem fucking solved why should you give a fuck that his heart is breaking, how many times have you had your heart-broken? get over it big guy another one bites the dust. If that still makes you feel guilty think of the hearts he’s broken on the way to yours, Cheating is a dam competition it just so happens that Men beat us to it every single time, don’t worry about it.
So if you’re wondering if you should tell him that you cheated, here’s my advise don’t fucking tell him he’s probably cheating on you as you read this blog.
xoxox Lauren O Lauren
PS to all my Jamaican readers remember my show is on every Tuesday at 9pm on flow TV Channel 100.
The Lauren O Lauren show (Nov 29th, Premier part 2)
Sorry about the quality guys, I will have to work on it for future had to shrink it to get it up inn Youtube, took me all day.
The Lauren O Lauren show (Nov 29, Premier show Prt1)
The quality may be a little bad I had to shrink it a lot o get it on youtube. Thanks everyone.
My Way at last, From Kingston to Buckingham Palace.
……. Hello everyone first let me start by saying my show Premiered last night after what seemed to be a tumble in the woods, it was an adventure. I still remember the 1st time I decided to do this show, I had big stars in my eyes thinking yeah I know all the right people to get this shit off the ground and I’m sure they’ll help me that was my first life lesson. I had a friend who was a director and I initially wanted him to help me with the project I’ve never produced anything before and he’s been in the business for a very long time, I called him and we arranged to meet on the day of the meeting I get to the location we agreed to meet at and he wasn’t there I called him and I swear to you this man said to me “Ummmm you were serious? I thought you were joking” Then after he realized I was heart-broken he said something like we can arrange to meet later because he was kind of busy at the moment, this was probably two years ago. That experience taught me that just because you know the right people and you’re friends with them on Facebook or even have them on your Blackberry messenger doesn’t means that you can ping them or poke them and they’ll come running.
When I shot the pilot episode in May of this year I can’t tell you how many things went wrong, finding the right editor and the right groove for my show had me like Goldie Locks tasting porridges but instead of 1,2,3 I went 1 through to 60 to find the perfect porridge.
Even before we premiered it I wanted to scrap episode 1 completely because I didn’t like it and there were too many mistakes in it, but I had to be realistic and I couldn’t waste content or money being as this project was majority being funded from my pocket, I weighed the pros and cons and I decided to go with it. I loved the support I was getting from the twitter family, and even the people who saw the flaws and pointed them out I love that, because I dont always see them all so getting that live feed back from people while the show was happening was really good, I literally had my notebook out taking notes, I wasn’t watching the show primarily because I have a rule about watching myself on tv and because I’m out of the country.
A lot of things are wrong but a lot of things are right, what’s important is that we find our own right and what makes us happy at the end of it all.
The Lauren O Lauren show airs Tuesdays at 9pm, with a repeat on Thursdays at 11pm and Saturdays at 9:30pm on Flow TV, Channel 100.
xoxoxoxo Lauren O Lauren, don’t let anyone fool you, you are the creator, leader and ruler of your destiny.
I’ll Never Regret a Broken < 3Heart
Oh my God! All my readers and twitter followers are like “Lauren you’ve gotten so soft, we don’t even recognize you”
I wanted to do this blog for all of you ladies out there, who are broken and really hurting, and just in that phase where you HATE men, I know I’ve been there and I’m not far from there I know and if this relationship I’m in doesn’t work out I’m just gonna go Rambo on Nigga’s and just walk around with an AK47 and be popping caps in everybody with a Dick.
I don’t regret anything, if I could live my life over I would do it all the same way even with the knowledge I have now because the person I am now has so much character and strength that I don’t wanna risk loosing those qualities to save a few broken hearts and a few tears.
My last relationship ended really badly, I was really vocal about it I still am, I’m not advising anybody to take the root that I took, I wish sometimes that I didn’t flip or lose my temper that way, but the good thing is I give all my boyfriend’s an alias’ and except for the guy I’m with now I keep them out of the public light and for the most part nobody knows who they are, I try not to date famous people for that specific reason, If you’re gonna be all up in my business it’s because I told you so not because it’s out there for you to see.
My last break up was really hard on me emotionally and physically it was the firs relationship to effect my body and my mind and it wasn’t because I loved him more than the rest, it was out of Ego and pride I just honestly couldn’t believe that it was happening to me again, i was disappointed by the last person I expected it from and that was what destroyed me, not the MAN himself, but the fucking situation repeating itself. Because Trust me when you meet somebody else you are going to wonder what the hell where you doing with that person in the 1st place, I loved every minute with my Ex, Loved it would do it over a million times even the crying in my room parts, the drinking till I’m unconscious bits, all he bull shit, but I love every second with my boyfriend now and I cannot see my life without him in it and I know every relationship prepared me for this moment, I wanna get married and have kids with him, I could see him being a great father to my daughters, he has no kids I have none so it’ll be the both of ours first and we’ll share those moments together even if our daughters grow up one day to be stripper bitches with bum ass boyfriends.
So don’t think I’ve gotten soft ladies, I’m just going through another phase in my life, I find myself reacting to situations differently, My 25th birthday is coming up in a couple of weeks and right now I’m like a powerful camera just putting myself in focus, I’ll give you an example.
When my ex and I broke up and months passed and I would wonder to myself why hasn’t he tried to contact me, or even apologize, he really hurt me you would think he would man up and say “Yo I’m sorry, I know i really hurt you” and when I did hear from him he sent me a message over two months ago and I say his name on my phone and i wasn’t even interested to read it, i read it a week after I got it and when i read it I was just like, I wish this dumb motherfucker didn’t even contact me, I wish he had just let me be and I just kept it moving, he didn’t even deserve a response from me cause he was just and still is a stupid motherfucker with no back bone and If i saw him tomorrow it hit me that I wouldn’t even remember what he looks like.
So ladies that’s my story I hope you can piece it together and make sense of it and hope I inspired you, don’t worry about the Loves you’ll lose, think about the love you haven’t found yet that is willing to return love to you.
xoxoxo Lauren O Lauren
PS I’m on Tumblr again, I will be posting Picture and fun Videos so log on!!!
http://thelolshow.tumblr.com/
My Style Revolution, “A Peaceful protest please”
Good Tidings I bring in the form of print, pattern, lavish fabrics and extravagant cuts. I’m giving my style a shot of syrup and making it a bit sweeter for the christmas season and my ever-growing great mood!
I have slowly been transforming my closet and my style as well as my 25th birthday is coming up so I do think it’s time for a small change. I recently purchased a sequined blazer, more floral shorts and tribal print pants embellished with feathers, oh how I love them I just bought them this weekend. I thought I’d share with you the direction my closet is going, I’m moving from erotic porn star to cute and pink with a splash of animation. I’m going to use some pictures to show you pieces I’m crushing on and why.
Mickey Mouse isn’t my favorite cartoon character but he is a character that I certainly do adore and he happens to be big this season in the area of fashion, and I love the very out of the way shock of wearing cartoon characters on your legs, certainly a must for the christmas season.
Sequins and Rhinestones everywhere, is a Got To Have, make sure you invest in a piece that is covered in them, that will make you look completely dressed up even if you aren’t wearing any make up and your weave is tangling. I’m such a sucker for sequins and I never used to like them, I was just having this conversation this past weakened how horrible we thought they were but this is a piece that will be around for a while and if it goes away will certainly come back.
Tribal print and out of the box pieces that you think you may never wear but suddenly you find somewhere you can wear it too. I urge you to invest in loud pieces that have nothing to do with you, something that is so not you, that when you wear it your friends don’t recognize you.
Loose dresses that look innocent and sweet and gives the impression that your a nice decent girl who no one would suspect is a freak underneath it all, (Insert Grin here) I love my tight little numbers but lately I’ve been feeling very responsible, and it’s a good look every now and again ladies.
Don’t forget the Professional inside of you, even if you don’t have a day job I have been having a dirty little love affair with blazers and I think apart from the everyday black and white you need an odd out of the box color in your closet just something to ignite the fire within you or at least get the haters staring. I own seven (7) blazers at the moment and I intend to own at least 3 more before the end of the year, I’ve been feeling very Blazer like hahahah. The loose shirts are nice for days out.
On top of all that I’m obsessed with Hello Kitty and glitter a bit immature but I have always been the ultimate girly girl, my boyfriend says i’m a child but confesses I’m his little princess, lol.
I hope you guys enjoyed this post and go ahead and comment and share some style revolutions of your own I LOVE LOOKING INTO OTHER PEOPLE’S CLOSET, feel like I get to know you a little bit more.
Hugs and Kisses and zebra Print dreams when you sleep,
Lauren o Lauren.
Waiting to Exhale…………… Breath.
Hello everyone, How are we today, As I sit here burning my incense stick and drinking my sugarless green tea, all is one with the world my breast are even starting to look bigger than they’ve ever looked before and yes before the day ends I will loose my temper and go off at several people, but at this very moment I am quite content.
Whenever I meet people who admit to reading my blog, I’m always so humbled and sort of Honored because it isn’t a specific person who reads my blog it’s all kinds of people. So let me take this moment to say How Much I appreciate you for taking time out of your day to read my inner most thoughts, that even I admit aren’t always sensible or right. Thank you.
I want to talk about this current moment in my life, When I was younger even though the typical things young girls usually want in men never seemed to appeal to me, I did make some mistakes and looking back I think it had a lot to do with my self esteem. I would date guys who I thought were very good looking but just assholes all around and I would put up with them because I thought I was lucky to be with them and not vice versa, because I didn’t think that I had much to offer or that I was very pretty or whatever it was men looked for in women and then I started to date really older men not just because they were loaded but because I was a young girl and to them I was amazing.
I have suffered from Serious heart break, depression, and just being very paranoid about my friends and the people around me but as you get older as i’m getting right now a lot of things change your priorities change my priorities have changed. The things that I used to find fun just don’t do it for me anymore, I felt like for so many years I was holding my breath and now I have exhaled I can be myself, not like I’m one to be anybody else but you know.
When I look for a man now his face is the last thing I look at, I wanna know:
“Do you owe anybody any money”?
“Do you have any kids, baby mothers’?
“Does your best friend live in your house”?
You know shit like that, that could one day turn into deal breakers. I went to an event this past weekend with my boyfriend and he introduced me to his friends and co workers as “My girlfriend” nobody has ever done that to me before, Yeah I’ve been XYZ’s woman, or that guy’s girl but never been “My girlfriend”.
We went house hunting together, before that I’ve never even considered moving in with a guy, a guy has never asked me before and I’ve never even thought of it I love my own space.
You must be wondering where I’m going with all of this, I’m just trying to say don’t be afraid to get older, to get wiser, don’t be afraid to make change, don’t be afraid to loose something it might be in your best interest to loose it all sometimes.
Life is like having dinner, and God is your waiter, you start with the appetizer, then he clears the table completely and you think you’ve lost it all but he’s just getting ready to serve the main course.
………… Wait to exhale.
xoxoxo Lauren O Lauren, I’m sharing a song I’ve been listening to all weekend, love it.
The Number 3 and my Dreams, who can explain what this means.
A Lot of times things in my life seem to go up in the air and ever so often I find my lazy self at a cross roads and there’s some decision it seems I have to make. Last night I had the most peculiar dream, and I use the word peculiar because I like how it sounds and it happens to fit quite nicely where I used it.
In my dream there were three girls, myself, a girl who drove and another girl, but for some strange reason all three girls turned out to be me. It started out with us being at some place where we were terrified of some one and we were selling something, some sort of ornaments in a white box at $300 each (the number 3 is entered for the 1st time). Then myself and the girl that drives escapes and is driving up some hill but we find ourselves going around in circles instead, a big continuous circle, then suddenly I find myself as the girl that got left behind she had three boxes left that she was trying to sell, she/I was going around in circles, just walking around the front of this property that had us as prisoners, we sold one of the three boxes then I found myself in another scene.
This scene was just me I had received a purple purse and when I opened it there were three rings inside, one was plain silver, another had a very thin band with a purple gem and the third one which was the prettiest of them all had a lot of purple gems on it, big gems, but it didn’t fit my finger, it was too big. In the dream I was telling a friend how my boyfriend surprised me with three promise rings, but one was too big and I couldn’t understand why he would buy two that fit, and one that was obviously too big?
That was my dream last night, I know I have some very wise people reading my blogs so Im waiting on one of you to interpret this dream.
As for the rest of you ,Listen Go watch the Interview I did with Blu Grass in The Sky, it’s a very laid back interview that was apart of my test shoot.
It was a light fun interview that was totally unscripted and one of the few interviews of this kind I’ll be doing on my show, all the others will be pretty rowdy!!! hahahahaha
xoxoxoxo Lauren O Lauren, I’m on that search for inner peace and Financial Gain!!!!!
The Guru to your Fabulous Life on the topic of boys……. again.
What do we know about men? we know that they were created first and just like 1st generation designs, have kinks and issues that the manufacturer could not have known about if he was not just making the object for the 1st time.
Somebody came to me with a problem this week, and I thought it was a good enough problem to make into some sort of advisory blog for my fellow sisters.
We’ve all been there we meet a guy we like and we think he likes us too, we’re convinced he likes us, he takes us out to dinner, or maybe he buys us a really nice gift, he talks to us for hours on the phone about nothing, he brings us cough syrup when we’re sick, really nice guy huh? So all that’s left is we give him some and then he proposes (INSERT LOUD NOISE HERE) Wrong!!!!!!! it means he has sex with us and then gets really busy after that, stops taking our calls and all it was, was a one night stand that he thought was worth the effort, what do you do now?
Not to worry as a certified life coach and a fucking genius I Lauren O Lauren will tell you what to do!!!!! (insert Trumpet sounds here, followed by a picture of me in a Super Woman outfit)
Men expect women to be clingy, expect us to beg and cry and all that bullshit, but the world is changing and so is our women and unfortunately so is our men but their change is a change we could do with out, people always say to me “Lauren you sound so bitter towards men, almost like you hate them” my respond to them is not that I sound like I hate men, I do hate men and I am bitter, I’m beyond fucking bitter, they disgust me but this blog isn’t about how much I hate them. This is about YOU!!!
When you have sex with a guy for the first time, refrain from calling them/pinging/texting/whatsapp-ing them the next day, leave the next step to them, leave everything up to them. This is no longer a chess game this has become “Monkey sees Monkey Do”, you will replicate his actions. If he calls answers, if he doesn’t ask you to see you don’t volunteer your presence you understand.
Here is another common scenario, lets say you go to a party and you see him, doesn’t matter if you just had sex with him this morning fact is he went out didn’t feel like inviting you or telling you. A lot of girls make the mistake of going over to say Hi!!!!! CUTE!!! BUT WRONG pretend as if he isn’t there because in theory he isn’t there, if you have to walk pass him to go to the bathroom and your eyes lock on him only say hi if he says HI!! otherwise when confronted later say you never saw him you were kind of drunk!! who the fuck does he think he is, David Beckham?
As much as you may be burning up inside and you think you’ve fallen in love with him and he’s the only man for you, get the fuck over it. This thing here is a war and we have to fight it, this is boys against girls, don’t fuck it up, he’s not the one trust me, you’re gonna thank me one day when you’ve met your prince charming and you’re gonna think back and be like, I must have been high!!!
xoxoxo Lauren O Lauren PS no girls room is complete with something Zebra Print in there, keep strong ladies the real MEN are coming!!!!!!!!
Don’t approach me if you have bad intentions
Had a little conversation last night which opens my eyes even wider to how much men upset my stomach, Now couple months ago I was in some sort of I dont wanna use the word relationship, but some sort of agreement with this guy who turned out to be a liar, a great pretender and some one with some serious personal issues stemming from his child hood.
Now I destroyed this dumb mother fucker on twitter because 1 he deserved it!!! I was talking to this other dude last night who heard about the whole thing, he was saying why did i put the guy out there like that, and that now men are afraid to approach me, and then he started telling me that he was a very private guy and he wouldn’t want his business out there like that. At no point did this guy ask me what the other guy had done to me that has caused me to act the way I did, but that’s Jamaican men for you there concern is never for women there concern is for themselves.
Here’s my take on it, Men feel like they can do whatever they want to women and not be called out on it? “When you did a do the things dem pussyole, you never know say, you wouldn’t wah you business put pan twitter, Drancro”!!!!!
Let me tell you this, To the man with good intentions, the world is a fair place” So if men are scared to approach me now because they feel like if they disrespect me i’m gonna scandal them, great!!! stay the fuck away from me, any man tell you they are a very private man is a man with more than skeletons in his closet, he intends to take you for a fool. If it means that there is a caution message going around Kingston that men should stay away from me GREAT, then maybe, just maybe, finally the real men will stand up, cause I’m a real fucking woman, and I was built for a real man, so all you toy solders take a step back.
No everybody wants to pin it on poor Lauren like I’m the unreasonable one you know how much bullshit I put up with from man? Cause I tell twitter say him is a “Dutty Smaddy a pose like him decent” some man get scared of me? Wait until you find out how many times he’s bought VAGINA in lucky 38, I know everybody thought he was an upstanding citizen, oh honey I could tell you stories about that Upstanding citizen, the only thing that stands up on that citizen lives in his pants, dat duty bwoy soon ketch AIDS!!!
So this is a message to all the men out there who would be thinking they can come into my life and use me like some sort of sex toy, or use me for links, or whatever kind of bad intention you may have listen to the rumors and make sure you listen good, because two things are sure in this world and that’s Death and MY WRATH!!!!!
xoxoxoxoxo Yours Truly Lauren O Lauren (Bitch)
There’s Life and then there’s Death, one is compulsory the other is what you make it.
The Genius behind everything "I"
My Uncle passes away three weeks ago and was buried a week ago, and it made me realize something, one of those things is that I loved him dearly and he was like a father to me but I hadn’t realized how awesome he was until he died, he was sick for a very long time and I was too busy being a fucking Diva and pining and plotting revenge on my ex boyfriend I simply forgot he was there and that he needed me, and that he was dying to go and see him, he asked for me every day and I never went because I was terrified of seeing him in that condition. I felt like I hadn’t turned out according to plan, I wanted to go see him when I had everything in order, I never got it together and he died and the last image he had of me, was me going off to college.
Steve Jobs died Tonight and that’s when I said to myself “Lauren you did the right thing”, the thing is we’re all going to die no matter who we are, no matter what we’ve created, no matter how fucking awesome we prove to be (PS awesome is my new favorite word) Steve Jobs was a legend and surely is responsible for the revolution in the way we communicate on some awesome level, but he died tonight.
I resigned from my job this evening after weeks of contemplating and rationalizing I finally decided to say farewell with the station a lot of people have come to know me as a part of, so that I can peruse my own dreams before I die and regret not branching out. The opportunity to grow wasn’t available to me there, would never become available to me and we both weren’t seeing eye to eye. I’d rather do this and fail miserably and know that I did give it a shot and I did try, some of the most revolutionary things in this world started off as bad ideas or ideas that people dubbed would never work, but some how most of them worked and have changed the face of this earth.
This October I am Launching The Lauren O Lauren show on Flow TV, and I can’t wait to share my views and personality with all Jamaica, I won’t neglect my loyal blog fans of course, it’ll be just like my blog only 3D, whats great about the platform for The Lauren O Lauren show is everyone gets a piece of the action, it’ll be OUR show and what you think matters more than anything, I want you guys to take part in the twitter questions and allow me to share your views with the world, the show airs online as well. If I didn’t make this break away I would just be wondering what if, and I dnt want to do that for the rest of my life.
I feel like for a very long time, I’ve just been trying to prove myself to all the wrong people and doing what everybody else wants and not myself. I’ve learnt that you can work for people your whole life, get to work half an hour early everyday for the rest of your life and you will just be an employee that they can replace tomorrow literally here today gone tomorrow. It’s important that you remember that you only have one life to live and you are at the liberty of time, when your time is up what would you have accomplished? Don’t waste it wondering, waste it doing.
Steve Jobs has died contributing two life times worth of revolutionary life changing creations, like many who have died before him and will die after him, may their souls find piece, even if they didn’t know piece while they were alive.
CLICK HERE TO LIKE THE LAUREN O LAUREN PAGE RIGHT NOW
xoxoxox Lauren O Lauren
Un- Breaking our Black women. An end to a viscous cycle
I had this dream last night and usually after a couple of drinks my mind goes into over time and I think all kinds of things, and I started thinking about the fate of the Black Race and our women.
Now before you continue I need you to remember this is my personal thoughts, this is just what I believe ( and at the time I just had a couple of glasses of stuff).
I have always thought that black men don’t know how to treat a black woman, why? we just aren’t special enough for them, we’re too regular. Who wants regular when you can have a latte with whip cream and sprinkles? and I’m not throwing stones here because my whole house and everything in it is made up of glass and paper.
Most black men want that latte with the whip cream, if you know what I’m saying, a regular black girl won’t do beside him at a party or function, he wants a “browning” a mix breed something his friends can look on and whisper where did you find that, “The Unjamaican looking” is the order of the day. Not bashing any one for their preferences because what you like is just what you like.
But there’s a bigger problem here, this cycle of breaking down our black women has to stop. We are destroying and damaging the women who are single handily responsible for raising our black men, broken women create broken empty men. The faith of a whole generation sits in her hands. I’m sure not all black women are single mothers, and I’m not trying to victimize any one but listen to this.
If the home I grew up in is a Single Mother =======>>>>>>>> Our Neighbors to the right are Single Mothers
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=>>> The people who live in front of them are single mothers, both neighbors immediately beside her are single mothers and I could go on and on.
My point is there are too many black single mothers, raising a generation of men who are said to be the envy of the world: “BLACK MEN”
They have it all, Bigger Dicks, naturally physically bigger, stronger without the use of steroids every other woman wants to have sex with them, the original bad boys are Black Men if you don’t believe me check the prisons. Our black men were born to rule this world and if it were a couple of centuries ago they would be running shit, but the white man flipped the whole switch on them, they started working together, reading and exchanging knowledge and changed our world from trying to survive in the wild to the Corporate, profit, loss & Gain economy we now live in, and that’s all that matters, those three things. (But that’s a different blog for a different day, under a different topic)
My point is men please be nice to our women all of them, they are fragile monsters for a lack of a better term. If you break our women, then you break our men and then our whole world is broken.
xoxoxoxoxox Lauren O Lauren I added the link to one of my favorite songs ever made.
Reason to Celebrate, there’s always a reason.
No matter what shit is happening, you need to make time to celebrate. That’s my new rule no matter whats happening put aside Celebration time, cause eventually we’re all gonna die so don’t worry too much. If you follow me on twitter you’ll notice I keep nothing inside, if I’m upset I put it all out there, I really don’t care what people think about me or my actions. I’m not saying you should adapt my actions either, you should definitely do you, whatever you are.
Nothing will ever be just that easy, you can’t live a drama free life no matter how calm you are, no matter how many friends you don’t have, how many times have you heard people say “Nothing has ever happened to me like this before”. We might feel like the universe is setting up against us, but it’s from my experience that after something really bad happens something awesome follows. This is a little hard to digest right now because I’m almost making no sense but gimme a little, like Vodka I’ll creep on ya.
Think about a situation that you were in, a good one and then for some reason you’re not in it anymore, at the time it seemed awful, but after you’ve had time to think about it, how many times do you find yourself saying “is that situation what I really wanted to get stuck in anyways”? no you didn’t you made a narrow escape.
I don’t blow up half as much as I should, somethings I hear things and I just wanna tweet the most horrible things but I think about it and I’m like this person isn’t even worth my time, there are other times when I have to blow up. Twitter is like my personal psychiatrist, it helps me release.
It’s like Jesus he had 12 disciples he knew exactly who was gonna betray him, he could have dealt with it then and there, but no he didn’t he kept that person around. I have people around me that I know I can’t trust for nothing, I have people around me that I know will and have sold me out but I’m trying to show them that with or without you and you’re bull shit this show is gonna go on.
So there’s always reason to celebrate! Celebrate your haters, celebrate the people who love you, celebrate the people you can’t trust, celebrate the people who betrayed you, the people who will betray you, the mother fuckers who will sell you out for nothing. Celebrate them niggas who don’t think you’re good enough, it’s a fucking celebration everyday and I’ll drink to that.
xoxoxoxo Happy Fake English Accent Day- Today is that Day when we don’t need a valid reason to celebrate. 
How do you know you’re getting SERIOUS?
It’s that time of year when you get this strange feeling, you meet someone and seeing their name light up on your cell phone is the next best thing to getting paid before pay-day.
Women and Men know when the person they’re pinging 200 times a day and that does not include the phone calls back and forth everyday and depending on the location the naughty face to face chats they have on Skype, they know that this could possibly lead to a relationship or at least they would like to, if a guy can imagine doing more this girl than having sex with her but actually picture them doing stuff together and the girl is thinking more about him than how many things she wants him to buy for her then you know it’s getting serious.
When the first message you get every morning is from each other, then honey all that’s left is kids and a baby carriage. I am going to plunge deeper by saying, we also know when we are in a dead-end situation that is going nowhere with a man or woman who wants nothing more from us than sex over cheap champagne. Too many times we sit down with our girlfriends saying stupid things like;
I don’t know, I think he likes me but he’s so shady and weird sometimes, one second he calls the next second I dont hear from him again. I don’t know if it’s just sex.
Or “I think he likes me but he just got out of a relationship so he wants us to go slow”
Bull shit Men don’t go slow, the line in First Caribbean bank goes slow. If a man feeds you lines about a broken relationship and wanting to go slow tell him “Great I wanna see other people as well, there’s this guy that I’m dating right now. But it’s just the dating stage I’m going through something similar just like you”
Don’t get mad because some guy didn’t make you his 3rd baby mother, or some other moron didn’t string you along in a relationship for two and a half years then broke up with you because you aren’t the person he thought you were so now he’s talking to some Chinese girl you hear used to fuck one of your ex’s. Things have to fall apart so they can go together properly this time, if they didn’t you wouldn’t meet this guy who has you rethinking everything you thought you had planned out. You find yourself wondering what it’s like to be pregnant and married, I’m just saying there are too many men in the world to worry about one who doesn’t even know himself.
xooxoxoxox Lauren O Lauren my smile gets bigger everyday.
THE WOMANIZER vs THE ASSHOLE
I have found a topic that I have not touched yet and think it is absolutely important that I do so. Men come in all shapes and sizes but there are only two types of bad men, they are The womanizer” and “The Asshole”.
I have always been in relationships with the WOMANIZER, the asshole is too much for me and quite frankly women only date them because they are usually like a Donald Trump or somebody like that and they are hoping he makes them their wife. Lets separate them so you can see who is who.
Lets start with the asshole, I’ve met a couple of assholes but I’ve never been in a relationship with one, I met my first asshole when I was hmmmmmmmm I think 17 years old. He would insist that we couldn’t be in a relationship because his family is very important to him, and he has to marry a christian girl. The asshole will always use family or have some sort of excuse, he knows from the get go that he cannot date you or doesn’t want to, so for a no strings attached and no explanation fling he will tell up front under the false pretense that he’s an honest good guy.
Ladies any man who tells you up front from day one before you have sex or right after you have sex if there are any third-party issues that may one day prevent you guys from having a relationship, they do this so when they break it off they can say “Hey I told her from Day 1 that etc, etc”
Now what would the WOMANIZER do? The womanizer puts a woman’s feelings first in these instances he will only hurt you if he knows you won’t be able to reach him after he has had his way with you. You won’t know what hit until one day you just cannot reach him by phone, yesterday he was sending you flowers and taking you to dinner and it’s literally like he doesn’t exist today.
The asshole doesn’t really take women out unless she’s his public girlfriend, meanwhile the Womanizer takes all his girls out, he’s a play boy who plays the game well, he’ll take you to the movies, restaurants, the opera as long as your little heart desires it and he wants to fuck you then put your black dress on cause he’s taking you.
Is there a physical difference between the two men? of course, because of the nature of how the Womanizer and the Asshole works it’s almost a necessity that a Womanizer be much better looking than the Asshole!!!
You see the Womanizer takes all his women out, and he brings them all home, he doesn’t see women in categories, he sees all women as one, “playthings”, so in that respect it works out better for him if he’s better looking. For example John Myer is said to be a womanizer he brings them all out and they all think he cares more than the next, because he’s so good-looking the women dating him at the time won’t think to themselves “hey wasn’t he in this same restaurant last week Tuesday with Jennifer”?
The asshole is not bad-looking but he definitely doesn’t have the looks that would put you to sleep in eternal bliss so he won’t get away with bringing all his women to the same restaurant, he’s very careful, he visits his women at home, or sometimes depending on the type of asshole women may come to him but very rarely. He doesn’t wine and dine his women, he’s an asshole he doesn’t know how.
I hope I’ve cleared up some mix ups today, good day ladies. and remember its ok to fall for a womanizer but it is not ok to fall for an asshole, you will never forgive yourself.
xoxoxoxoxox Lauren”O”Lauren
I did a video about Weave Tips I live by for the curious!!
For those girls who are always asking about my weave and styling tips I made a little video for you. I’ll be doing another video with the top ten types of weaves that I absolutely love and the ones you should stay away from you.
xoxoxoxo Lauren O Lauren
Are you my baby’s Daddy??
I’ve got my mom’s name tattooed under my left arm, I got it this year on a shopping trip to Miami with friends. I’ve been meaning to have my mom’s name tattooed for a while now, not just because she’s the only parent I know, or because she’s my rock but because sometimes she’s really brave a couple of years ago she was being robbed at knife point and she ended up getting into a fight with her attacker because she refused to be robbed even though he was armed, she could have died if she was stabbed just a bit closer to her lung. She survived.
I’m very careful when I date men, and I find my self immediately attracted to men who would make great fathers, I don’t usually date the cute guys who make me lough and look good in their clothes and whenever I do date them I end up regretting it! Thus why I date men over 40, who have no children or a multitude of baby mothers scattered over the region, my biggest fear is being a single parent, even though I don’t plan to have kids, I still find myself way more attracted to men who I think would make great fathers. That includes having two parents who are still together, those men usually have less surface issues! A good education makes them easier to talk to, someone who reads!!! I can’t stress how important reading is, even if he only reads the daily news paper, he takes a vacation every now and again to a country outside his own, a man with knowledge of the world around him is more accepting of people and changes, all those things combined with a couple of years on him, makes him a perfect candidate to father my babies!!
I don’t think I have to include that he must have a job!!! I like men who work a lot!! go to work early come home late, is such a turn on for me, Men should work hard. I don’t date Hustlers, I like men who have regular jobs, either that or your parents are oil tycoons and I can live with that. You’re driving an expensive car, living in an expensive apartment, you don’t have a degree, you are not a rapper, or an artist manager, your daddies last name isn’t Trump! So where’d ya get all that shit? some women don’t mind these things, but the man mentioned above is not fathering any child of mine.
If you think a man is not a reflection of his friends you’ll learn soon enough, it’s a nasty lesson but once you learn it, you never forget it. “It’s lonely at the Top” they always say, so the more successful a man gets the less friends he has, I’m looking for that nigga who has no fucking friends, so I can wrap my arms around him and call him “MINE”!!!!! hahahahahahaha
Women need to stop chasing these little boys who just wanna “Pop Bottles” in the club,I’m childish and immature and require a loud voice from time to time so why am I gonna date a guy who wants to do the same things I’m doing? I’m into partying right now, but I don’t want a guy to party with, none a dat!!!
The only question left is, is you or is you aint my baby daddy?
xoxoxox Lauren O Lauren
WHO BROKE BARBIE’S KEN DOLL??
I was at the club the other day talking to my Gay male friend, and he said to me “Lauren, I’m tired of Men I’m just so annoyed I’m ready to do something else. I met this Butch girl and I think I wanna fuck her” I almost died of laughter, but i was like yo! If Men are getting annoyed of men then please tell me what we women are suppose to do after they have broken us over and over again.
Dear women, you must be able to admit when your “Doll House” is no good, and it’s because you bought a broken KEN Doll.
Lets start with some of the mistakes women make, You meet a guy you like and he says to you: “Let me be honest with you I dnt want there to be any lies between us, I am sleeping with other people”
As women we think at least he’s being honest with me, and we aren’t officially a couple yet or we’ve only been dating for a couple months. WRONG!!! WRONG< WRONG!!!!
If a man really likes you, he will not tell you the TRUTH because he knows it will hurt you, men are naturally born "Protectors" so their natural instinct should be to protect you, not to hurt your feelings, a man who tells you he has other women, is saying "Hey i like you, and i'm sure we'll get along but it's neither here nor there to me if you don't stay, there's more of you"
If a man loves you he will lie about the things that he knows will hurt you, if he doesn't think you'll find out.
Some of you women know ahead of time that the man you’re picking up is public property!! You know he’s a dog, then you get with him, get your hopes up and then stay mad at the world when you hear about another girl he’s sleeping with, Bitch wake the fuck up everybody is fucking this man, you wanna be mad at somebody, run and tell him!
Your Ken doll is broken, bring it back ad buy a RAMBO action figure instead those last longer!
Another mistake women make, is trying to make a man come into his own, as women we are natural born nurturers, we care for a living, sometimes this blinds us to the obvious. You are not this man’s mother you cannot be raising him and disciplining him when he’s done something wrong. You sticking by his side and being supportive no matter how many girls he’s slept with in hopes that he will marry you and you will be a cute “Editorial couple” who every will envy and love, lawd jesus is it really worth it? “You ciah find a next man”?
I’ve said before women need to stop acting decent and we need to kick up rumpus and behave disorderly and I bet you these men will pull up their socks, Go to his office on his busiest day and embarrass the hell outta him by cussing on the top of your voice when he’s fucked up royally or mad you look stupid or embarrass you and I bet they will calm down.
he might leave you for your tyrant behavior, but if all the women in his life embarrass him like that eventually he will calm down. Women need to unite and work together, notice how men work together and not malice each other over women.
I’m just saying don’t blame me or any other woman for your man straying, your man is and will always be PUBLIC PROPERTY!!
xoxoxoxoxo To be honest I always thought Ken was Gay.
#TEAMBEYOURSELF
In a world where being yourself is often affected by the people we surround ourselves, the books we read, the programs we’re addicted to or the magazines we skim through daily. It seems being “ourselves” is not really an option, so then why should we be ourselves? what are the benefits?
Being ourself is important, our sanity is at risk. Everybody struggles with individuality issues, I wish I was someone else everyday, but my animated wishes has never stopped me from being Lauren O Lauren on any given day. You know who I am and it’s not because I’m on TV or have a blog it’s because I am myself whenever you see me. I’ve been taking a lot of ‘ME” time lately getting to rediscover myself, I had forgotten so many things about myself, like how much I love laughing so much to the point where I make everyone around me laugh. The city can be a cold place and the people in it can be empty souls, but I’m not a city girl I’m from the country, and in the country there are no social scenes, there are no hot spots, just people and places, and the person always comes with the personality and not one or the other.
Don’t allow your greed for an empty world to strip you of who you are and your morals, stay true to the things that are uniquely you. Too many people are busy competing with the persons they think are their friends, getting caught up in the constant need to be apart of the “Hype”, which becomes an addiction after a while, you keep trying to get high from it, you don’t even realize that you’re selling out the people around you, who are supposed to matter to you.
Nothing matters to you anymore, and then you matter to no one anymore, it’s a circle. Just remember the way you deal with people is the way they will deal with you, Human beings possess soul, which means we have conscience, therefore we are well aware of when we’ve done something “FUCKED UP”, Don’t worry it will come right back around, life isn’t like a man if you fuck it, it will fuck you back, promise.
xoxoxoxo Lauren O Lauren I aint a prophet I just preach a lot.
My first Chicken Fight!!!!
Hello everyone,
So this morning I got a phone call and the voice on the other end said get ready we’re going on a drive!! (just the way I like it, I live for spontaneous outings to far places)
So anyways we drive and we drive to this far away place surrounded by fairies and butter scotch candy leaves, hahahahahahahahah!! (I always wanted to say that) Anyways, it was kind of far though, I was at my very first “Cock Fight” this rugged place full of ghastly red dirt appropriately called Madison Square Gardens, and when I tried to take a picture with my black berry it told me I was at the Gulf of Mexico! lol
I didn’t even know we did these things in Jamaica, The chicken legs were clipped with scissors to remove all the feathers from their legs, you could see their actual leg and can I tell you they had really fit looking muscled legs!, their feathers were cut appropriately so they didn’t have excess feather all over the place.
The chickens were weighed and matched with an equal sized opponent, and after the bets were placed, seconds later I watched them put what should have been spicy BBQ wings and the rest sweet and soured and served with fried rice, but these two chickens were in a caged ring ready to fight, the bell sound and they were released unto each other.
To my surprise they didn’t just jump on each other like two mad animals, they stood in front of each other stared hard at their opponents, circled each other then attacked like human fighters, they picked, stabbed, and jumped on each other until they were both a bloody mess, and before you think this blog is about a chicken who escaped from KFC and went on to fulfill his dreams of becoming an international fighter, it’s not there’s actually a fucking lesson to be learnt so pay attention.
The chicken that was getting his ass whooped, or in this sense close to loosing his head to the other chicken, started running around the cage, just running around in circles,and trust me when I say he was injured really bad, blood spurring everywhere, i kept covering my eyes it was too “gory” to watch at the same time I imagined him being slow cooked with string beans and potatoes.
So anyways, he was running around now, and everyone was sure the other chicken was gonna win, he was chasing the injured chicken almost laughing while he did this, probably saying “I got you now motherfucker” when we thought the match was gonna end soon, the injured chicken took control when the other chicken got tired, he started fighting back and poked the winning chickens eyes out, so the chicken that was in the lead was now blind he couldn’t see, and just like that the chicken that was gonna die became the winner. Wicked twist of faith eh?
We watched a couple more, and I learned a very valuable lesson from those chickens, in the last match both chickens were blind but they still kept fighting. The lesson I learnt and the lesson I’m trying to pass on to you, is that Chickens are pretty fucking stupid!! hahahahahahaha, I’m joking, the lesson is sometimes all it takes is not giving up, and attacking your problems with a new strategy and you could end up winning. Don’t just quit because you didn’t get the immediate results that you expected, remember champions aren’t born over night, Rome wasn’t built-in a day and anything that goes up too quick will come down quicker.
xoxoxox Lauren O Lauren
Coping in a Stressful world……… Find what works
Stress is most commonly described as the outside world or fragments of it affecting an individual, it can fall into two categories Internal stress or External stress, studies have proven that excessive stress leads people to poor nutritional choices, better said doing things that affect our bodies in some way or another, this includes drinking, smoking, too much ice cream or hooking up with an ex who probably has an STD by now.
Everyone experiences “spells” where they feel like giving up or just don’t want to be bothered by it all. We all know it”ll get better and that we’ll probably look back on the experience and laugh, but in the moment, you can’t see pass how angry or upset or simply just how annoyed you are.
My mother would come home from work and try on all her clothes and shoes, and talk to her reflection in the mirror asking her own opinion on the outfits she tried on, she wasn’t going anywhere but that was her mechanism for dealing with stress.
I have my own personal mechanism that works like magic, Whenever I feel like it’s getting too much for me to handle I stop whatever it is I’m doing and take myself away from the situation, I do it all the time, a situation gets bigger than me and I make sure no one can get a hold of me unless I’m ready to deal with the public again, depending on how big the situation is, usually the sanctuary of my bed room is good enough.
Within the four walls of my room, I replay the scenes or situation that has gotten me so upset, and I try to write the story over in my mind with every possible other ending, so that I can reason the situation out properly before I write the person off and burn that bridge and destroy that walk way for good.
Everyone has their remedy for dealing with stress, some people go out and socialize, I can’t be around people when I have stuff on my mind, the only thing I’m good at faking are orgasms, I can’t fake not being upset, because I’m talkative so the moment you realize I’m silent it’s obvious something is annoying me.
The important thing is to find what works for you and stick to it, because not having a system that makes you feel better will lead you into depression, depression isn’t like what you see on tv, and it takes a while for the over priced pills they will prescribe for you to begin working, and those pills will only make you feel worst because that’s how they work, make you feel worst so when you get off them, you’re right back to where you started, thus making you feel better,”systematically”.
I have a book of Buddhist stories that I read all the time, it’s all a part of my coping mechanism, I’ve read every story in there all at least ten times each, but every time I read them it’s like I’ve never read them before, it’s similar to a bible just a lot less confusing, but the stories are similar and the lessons are the same and it makes me feel better, I suppose the same way a depressed christian feels when they pick up their bible.
Thats how I cope in a stressful world what do you do?
xoxoxoxox Lauren O Lauren
New Insight on the Rihanna Video
Ok so I was talking to my room-mate about the Rihanna video, she happens to be an editor and she has two (2) DEGREES!!!!!!!! (Educated Jamaican). She also said she didn’t like the Rihanna video but for completely different reasons which I could relate to, which I had noticed at 1st but when I heard everybody going on, and on about this Rape thing I really got hot-headed, sex abuse against women is a very big deal to me.
She said forget the rape thing that could stay, why did they have guns in the broad daylight in Portland and why was she so classy and stylish and everyone around look hungry and poor? I saw it but was caught up with an entirely different issue so I’m doing a poll. I know a lot of you have different views, not that I care about people’s views after all I’m not the Prime Minister, no one pays me to care.
But im interested to see how many people have the same responses and to what.
