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The Secret to Happiness REVEALED

I have found the secret to Happiness and you’re not gonna believe how achievable it is, are you ready?

The secret to true Happiness is the ability to see beyond that which makes you unhappy, and knowing that you are on your way to something better. Not just believing it but knowing it

HAve an awesome day everyone.

xoxoxoxoxo Lauren O Lauren

Are boys the new women, what a guy being Co Dependent says about his character

It’s evident by Men’s fashion, the way men complain and how dramatically their species has dropped in height making a man 6ft tall rare to find that Men are becoming the new women, and I’m expecting some where in the near future they will be able to get pregnant and the roles would have made a 180 degree turn.

But today i wanna talk about something that bothers me greatly, this issue of “Codependency”, Women have been famous over the years for being Co dependent always needing to be in a relationship because we’re so fragile and frail. For the record I have never broken up with one guy and immediately gone into another relationship because anything can happen so i give myself space and time to think.
But I see men doing it all the time now, they break up with one very public girlfriend and they’re out in public in less than two weeks with a brand new girl and calling here their girlfriend. It makes me uncomfortable that you cannot be alone for a while, what does that say about your character? what does that say about your self esteem? It says you rely on other peoples opinions, you rely on others for your happiness.
Is your self esteem so low that you constantly have to be around another person, you are uncomfortable with the person you are! internally you are unhappy you will never find what you’re looking for until you find happiness within yourself.

Women need to be extra careful and not just rush into relationships you just don’t know who people are, he could be anxiously waiting for you to say yes to being his girlfriend, but then he has a girl on the side who he will never stop having sex with or multiple girls. The men who hurry to “wife” girls always have a bag a girls fucking on the sides, they are also ten times for likely to pay for a lap dance at a strip club and 20 times more likely to pay for the private room.

Co Dependent men according to psychologist have mommy issues, they either had very demanding mothers who they constantly had to be pleasing be it either with good grades, good behavior not bringing home certain girls etc, etc.

Do our men need our help becoming men? They do need to become Men but it has to start with us stop babying them, let them be men, let them fucking beg.

xoxoxox Lauren O Lauren on the mission to find the real Men.

Is Jamaica ready for Change

We are a nation of warm no problem people, at least thats what the Sandals adverts on American Cable tv let everyone believe including us some how, and warm hearted we are, life in Jamaica is laid back, everyone is always late, shops close early because everyone has to make it home in time for Dinner, and there is without a doubt a rum bar at the end of every street corner and at no time at all are any of them empty, Jamaican’s can hold their liquor and if it wasn’t for cable tv all these drunk driving accidents probably would have never happened.

Red Stripe Launched a new Marketing Campaign to sell more “BEER” using a life size Bear by the name of “Red”, the campaign with in it self was genius I love Drama when in doubt create controversy, tune ups could be made to the execution so as to maximize the entire effect, somewhere Red the bear got stuck in the middle of not being simple enough and not being complicated enough to generate a massive buzz. Red the bear though he means well for Beer, is just not a relatable character yet, of course we still don’t know him well enough so he could become very relatable, very soon.

Is Jamaica ready for change Redstripe? you should know you are our Jamaican beer and have stayed authentic up until the point where you sold out to the German company but thats not the point, the point is you are one of us.
Many Jamaican’s thought they were using the “BEAR” because it sounds like “BEER” when you say it. This is what I got from the campaign, my own personal fucked up interpretation is this, Bear’s steal things, if you have a cabin in the woods in a country that has bears they might break in, for example those of us who watched YOGI BEAR growing up (a lot of people did not get that key factor). Yes there are no bears in Jamaica but that’s why Red came all the way here because the beer is so amazing he had to leave his home in the woods some where not close to shore and come steal this magnificent beer and mix and mingle with the locals, it’s every animals dream to be a human and the best kind of human to be is a Jamaican cuz we have Dancehall, Vybz Kartel and The fastest man alive.

Is the campaign a bad idea, will it work? as DJ NICCO disc jockey and radio personality said yesterday on twitter; “@DjNicco876: Budweiser used 3 frogs, geico use a salamander, taco bell used a dog… U ppl are over analyzing. Just laugh and move on with ur lives. LOL”

Red Stripe isn’t the first to use a BEAR to get the message across;


Bud lite bear has also used a Bear

Im looking forward to going clubbing with Red, as a woman who drinks Red Stripe lite to sober up and because it has less calories and keeps me cool at a beach party, I’m looking for Red Stripe to get some added buzz out of this campaign.

xoxo Lauren O Lauren

How do you know you’re getting SERIOUS?


It’s that time of year when you get this strange feeling, you meet someone and seeing their name light up on your cell phone is the next best thing to getting paid before pay-day.

Women and Men know when the person they’re pinging 200 times a day and that does not include the phone calls back and forth everyday and depending on the location the naughty face to face chats they have on Skype, they know that this could possibly lead to a relationship or at least they would like to, if a guy can imagine doing more this girl than having sex with her but actually picture them doing stuff together and the girl is thinking more about him than how many things she wants him to buy for her then you know it’s getting serious.

When the first message you get every morning is from each other, then honey all that’s left is kids and a baby carriage. I am going to plunge deeper by saying, we also know when we are in a dead-end situation that is going nowhere with a man or woman who wants nothing more from us than sex over cheap champagne. Too many times we sit down with our girlfriends saying stupid things like;

I don’t know, I think he likes me but he’s so shady and weird sometimes, one second he calls the next second I dont hear from him again. I don’t know if it’s just sex.

Or “I think he likes me but he just got out of a relationship so he wants us to go slow”

Bull shit Men don’t go slow, the line in First Caribbean bank goes slow. If a man feeds you lines about a broken relationship and wanting to go slow tell him “Great I wanna see other people as well, there’s this guy that I’m dating right now. But it’s just the dating stage I’m going through something similar just like you”

Don’t get mad because some guy didn’t make you his 3rd baby mother, or some other moron didn’t string you along in a relationship for two and a half years then broke up with you because you aren’t the person he thought you were so now he’s talking to some Chinese girl you hear used to fuck one of your ex’s. Things have to fall apart so they can go together properly this time, if they didn’t you wouldn’t meet this guy who has you rethinking everything you thought you had planned out. You find yourself wondering what it’s like to be pregnant and married, I’m just saying there are too many men in the world to worry about one who doesn’t even know himself.

xooxoxoxox Lauren O Lauren my smile gets bigger everyday.

Boys are my new Drugs, I want lots of them.

*La, LA La La* I met a new boy!!!!!

First let me say this is not a blog about how I’ve been wrong about Men and you just need to find the right one, I still hate men and they’re all the same, but you have to admit when you first meet a guy and he’s really into you because he hasn’t had sex with you yet is the best part.

I love New Boys, they’re like new shoes, as uncomfortable as they are you ignore all of that because they’re pretty, New and this design is fresh from the runway and you’re the first to have them!!! Until they start to give you really bad blisters and you realize you can’t stand in them for more than an hour, then you gradually don’t wear them anymore.

I’m going through that phase now, where I really, really wanna have fun with another person, I want us to be exclusive to each other but without the labels and the stupid “I love you” just know that we have each others back and we have an understanding, there are no real rules because it’s not a real relationship until we get to that bridge, so for now we’re sitting on a blanket on the other side having sandwiches and tea taking a break before we actually cross the bridge. (pretty way of saying it huh)
I am enjoying a man’s company but not dependent on it, so if he leaves it won’t even matter. Boys can be so much fun, but it’s almost like a baby playing with a plastic bag, although when I think of it what is it like when a baby plays with a plastic bag i used to let my baby nephew play with everything, he turned out ok and started reading at age 2, it all depends i suppose.

My advise to women is be smart with men, do not repeat all your steps, with each new dude it’s like starting over or you can continue paying the same role and hope you find the right character to play your love interest or you can change your own character just a little bit. By a certain point in your life you know what works for you, boys do not work for me trust me i’ve done everything so I just enjoy these first couple of months then I accept that something will go wrong and all my ex’s can blame me, it’s ok I woke up feeling like Jesus this morning, cast all burdens on me.

My name is Lauren and I have successfully substituted Drugs (not the illegal ones get your mind out the gutter) for Boys who call me Princess.

xoxoxoxox Lauren O Lauren

We are Satisfied, just look around you


I haven’t written a blog in a while, I’ve been a little distracted. But during my distraction I have learnt something very Important, i complain a lot about all kinds of stupid shit but I learn something every time I come home, or I talk to my cousin or my sister does something I didn’t expect her to do, or a friend of mine surprises me with a good deed.
“It is what it is, and it isn’t that bad” I can live with the decisions i’ve made I can grow from the mistakes i’ve made and I’m not chained to the people that make me unhappy, and if the situation is unfulfilling no written or unwritten contract can keep me in it. This world is a man made Manifesto, but it is God’s creation and quite frankly none of these fools running around balling and whatever can’t come close to the man who created Adam and Eve, not to get all religious on you, but you catch my drift.

I am satisfied, yea I complain but only because it’s apart of my personality, my life isn’t half bad, and neither is yours, look around you, there are so many other people who should be unhappy but we get fooled by the things we think they have and the life we think they’re living and the cars we see them driving. They are miserable because a lot of them are living in the shadows of who they really are, because they created a reputation and have to live with it or they have people who tell them who to be.

I’m satisfied my family is fucked up but they’re the greatest fuck ups I’ve ever met, if i’m ever in a situation I know I can call one of my sisters, or my mom or one of the other complaining members of my chaotic family, so all the other petty problems i’m having with the external, totally controllable factors in my life, is neither here nor there…….

….. “it is what it is, and it isn’t that bad”

xoxoxoxoxo Lauren O Lauren

The boys that glitter aren’t gold!!!!!

(PS I wrote this on my iPad and using word fess on here is funny tons of mistakes are in here that I can’t correct)

I’ve been caught up with a ton of stuff you’ll see soon!!!
However my sears I can tell you that although I sleep in every day, drink way too much in private and is loosing sight in my left eye at a rapid pace, I am more awake than I have ever been in my whole life, as I walked to the ATM machine this morning a very nice silver two door car windows down and music blaring shot past me at such a speed that it tangled my fucking weave!!! Not to worry I’m wearing remi so it quickly untangled and got back to its luxurious self. The point is the person driving shirtless, tanned and handsome was not the owner of the car!!! The owner of the
car would never drive it at the speed and the tinted windows would never be down. I have a name for men who front with other people’s things, I findly call them “Jenny’s” coming from the French word “Jermain” spelt with a J or G respectively. However this blog is not about the Jenny’s of the world, it’s about us girls and how we allow ourselves to be well not taken serious.
I was in the country this past weekend at stage show of some sort, and u started talking to this man purely by accident and in the heat of the noment, some one I would not talk to on a regular day, he doesn’t look like David Beckham, he doesn’t even travel to let Alone be a foreigner, hes a taxi driver, but for the whole night he kept offering me drinks, asking me what I like, my hand was never empty, even volunteered to drive me back to all the way to Kingston if I wanted to go to the beach! The irony is a man like that would give me anything my heart desires as long as he could afford it, he would live to make me happy, he wouldn’t sleep soundly if he knew some one made me unhappy. But I would never date a man like that, he doesn’t fit into my plastic world, and my plastic friends wouldn’t be nice to him, the plastic places I go wouldn’t let him in, because he only wears T shirts. All women are guilty of something like this we shun the men who would really love us for these glittery men. According to a study done last year, entrepreneurs and seemingly rich men are less likely to give women money or gifts because they use their names to date you and think you should be privileged to date them because they’re rich and they jbow you’ll stick around because you’re hoping he will choose you and maybe marry you or some dumb fairy tale like that. When the men who don’t have much are said to have bigger hearts, why is it that I want to settle for a guy who only looks good on paper and take great side shots shoe looks good in all his pictures?

People always say you shouldn’t settle, but it really all depends on the circumstances. There is this specific guy in my life, let’s call him a fucking mistake!!! While talking to this fucking mistake he says to me he would be going to the country for “Sumfest weekend” ( a big music festival type thing we have yearly, the biggest reggae show on earth) I told him, don’t ask me if I’m going you’re going why don’t you take me with you. The Fucking mistake responds by saying “I’ll be working, I can’t take you with me”
Fair enough, however he went last year and brought his girlfriend, will he be busier this year than he was last year? certainly not, but I was not important to this man, he valued me just the same as he would have valued a heart shape leaf, a really cool find but if he lost it, it would still be just a fucking leaf.

Then there I was in a bar, when this guy I knew was fooling around or whispering sweet something’s to a girl I know, hanging out for the long weekend with some say his girlfriend, some one else said that the girl was not. I think it’s his girlfriend because he’s an asshole not a womanizer he wont take a girl out who is not his girlfriend unless he’s in a foreign country.

That’s when it hit me!! Soon I was gonna be 25 and I will have no excuse for making certain mistakes, I should have learnt from all my mistakes already, I’m a great girl, I’m honest, I listen, I spend hundreds of dollars on Agent Provocateur lingerie, why am I these things to happen? So no I’m not gonna be his side chick, I refuse to be cool anymore, I hope one day some of you girls wake up and realize you’re worth more than a few dollars, and for some pussy who’s too scared to tell his wife he doesn’t love her, to tell you in private how great you are, if he can’t bring you out and public and tell his family about you then why would you even bother, let go of that negativity, somebody is waiting to love you I promise.

Xoxoxoxox Lauren o Lauren, eyes wide open ladies stay awake. #TEAMNOSLEEP #pow

Raise your glass another asshole just died!

raise your glasses to another dead asshole

THE WOMANIZER vs THE ASSHOLE


I have found a topic that I have not touched yet and think it is absolutely important that I do so. Men come in all shapes and sizes but there are only two types of bad men, they are The womanizer” and “The Asshole”.

I have always been in relationships with the WOMANIZER, the asshole is too much for me and quite frankly women only date them because they are usually like a Donald Trump or somebody like that and they are hoping he makes them their wife. Lets separate them so you can see who is who.

Lets start with the asshole, I’ve met a couple of assholes but I’ve never been in a relationship with one, I met my first asshole when I was hmmmmmmmm I think 17 years old. He would insist that we couldn’t be in a relationship because his family is very important to him, and he has to marry a christian girl. The asshole will always use family or have some sort of excuse, he knows from the get go that he cannot date you or doesn’t want to, so for a no strings attached and no explanation fling he will tell up front under the false pretense that he’s an honest good guy.
Ladies any man who tells you up front from day one before you have sex or right after you have sex if there are any third-party issues that may one day prevent you guys from having a relationship, they do this so when they break it off they can say “Hey I told her from Day 1 that etc, etc”

Now what would the WOMANIZER do? The womanizer puts a woman’s feelings first in these instances he will only hurt you if he knows you won’t be able to reach him after he has had his way with you. You won’t know what hit until one day you just cannot reach him by phone, yesterday he was sending you flowers and taking you to dinner and it’s literally like he doesn’t exist today.

The asshole doesn’t really take women out unless she’s his public girlfriend, meanwhile the Womanizer takes all his girls out, he’s a play boy who plays the game well, he’ll take you to the movies, restaurants, the opera as long as your little heart desires it and he wants to fuck you then put your black dress on cause he’s taking you.

Is there a physical difference between the two men? of course, because of the nature of how the Womanizer and the Asshole works it’s almost a necessity that a Womanizer be much better looking than the Asshole!!!
You see the Womanizer takes all his women out, and he brings them all home, he doesn’t see women in categories, he sees all women as one, “playthings”, so in that respect it works out better for him if he’s better looking. For example John Myer is said to be a womanizer he brings them all out and they all think he cares more than the next, because he’s so good-looking the women dating him at the time won’t think to themselves “hey wasn’t he in this same restaurant last week Tuesday with Jennifer”?
The asshole is not bad-looking but he definitely doesn’t have the looks that would put you to sleep in eternal bliss so he won’t get away with bringing all his women to the same restaurant, he’s very careful, he visits his women at home, or sometimes depending on the type of asshole women may come to him but very rarely. He doesn’t wine and dine his women, he’s an asshole he doesn’t know how.

I hope I’ve cleared up some mix ups today, good day ladies. and remember its ok to fall for a womanizer but it is not ok to fall for an asshole, you will never forgive yourself.

xoxoxoxoxox Lauren”O”Lauren

I like STUFF

I admit I’m addicted to stuff, all kinds of stuff but mostly material stuff, I love stuff more than boys cause if you take care of stuff you can have them forever.
This Summer though and I’m not a flowers girl, but this is the season for all kinds of floral arrangements, I just grabbed a pair of floral sling-backs and i have an array of tight floral inspired tight dresses. So Gonna show you guys my top picks and ways to go floral and not over do it this season!!

I ACTUALLY HAVE THESE PUMPS AND I LOVE THEM, THEY ARE SOOOOO HIGH THOU


Floral shoes are my guilty pleasure,I know they might be a big commitment once the season is over but the good thing about shoes is once you get them in the right silhouette you can wear them for years. The higher the heel the harder it is for the silhouette to become dated.

Floral dress I *Heart* these they can do no wrong at all

Not ready to make a big commitment then go for a floral bikini as long as there’s a beach, you can wear a Bikini with flowers on it!!!

I will definitely keep you all informed with my fashion obsessions as I go along!!!! But don’t be afraid to go floral just don’t do everything floral, you have to do floral pieces if you over do it you’ll look like an unsigned country artist!!!

xoxoxoxo Lauren O Lauren

I did a video about Weave Tips I live by for the curious!!

For those girls who are always asking about my weave and styling tips I made a little video for you. I’ll be doing another video with the top ten types of weaves that I absolutely love and the ones you should stay away from you.

xoxoxoxo Lauren O Lauren

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