I’ve got my mom’s name tattooed under my left arm, I got it this year on a shopping trip to Miami with friends. I’ve been meaning to have my mom’s name tattooed for a while now, not just because she’s the only parent I know, or because she’s my rock but because sometimes she’s really brave a couple of years ago she was being robbed at knife point and she ended up getting into a fight with her attacker because she refused to be robbed even though he was armed, she could have died if she was stabbed just a bit closer to her lung. She survived.

I’m very careful when I date men, and I find my self immediately attracted to men who would make great fathers, I don’t usually date the cute guys who make me lough and look good in their clothes and whenever I do date them I end up regretting it! Thus why I date men over 40, who have no children or a multitude of baby mothers scattered over the region, my biggest fear is being a single parent, even though I don’t plan to have kids, I still find myself way more attracted to men who I think would make great fathers. That includes having two parents who are still together, those men usually have less surface issues! A good education makes them easier to talk to, someone who reads!!! I can’t stress how important reading is, even if he only reads the daily news paper, he takes a vacation every now and again to a country outside his own, a man with knowledge of the world around him is more accepting of people and changes, all those things combined with a couple of years on him, makes him a perfect candidate to father my babies!!

I don’t think I have to include that he must have a job!!! I like men who work a lot!! go to work early come home late, is such a turn on for me, Men should work hard. I don’t date Hustlers, I like men who have regular jobs, either that or your parents are oil tycoons and I can live with that. You’re driving an expensive car, living in an expensive apartment, you don’t have a degree, you are not a rapper, or an artist manager, your daddies last name isn’t Trump! So where’d ya get all that shit? some women don’t mind these things, but the man mentioned above is not fathering any child of mine.

If you think a man is not a reflection of his friends you’ll learn soon enough, it’s a nasty lesson but once you learn it, you never forget it. “It’s lonely at the Top” they always say, so the more successful a man gets the less friends he has, I’m looking for that nigga who has no fucking friends, so I can wrap my arms around him and call him “MINE”!!!!! hahahahahahaha

Women need to stop chasing these little boys who just wanna “Pop Bottles” in the club,I’m childish and immature and require a loud voice from time to time so why am I gonna date a guy who wants to do the same things I’m doing? I’m into partying right now, but I don’t want a guy to party with, none a dat!!!

The only question left is, is you or is you aint my baby daddy?

xoxoxox Lauren O Lauren

I was at the club the other day talking to my Gay male friend, and he said to me “Lauren, I’m tired of Men I’m just so annoyed I’m ready to do something else. I met this Butch girl and I think I wanna fuck her” I almost died of laughter, but i was like yo! If Men are getting annoyed of men then please tell me what we women are suppose to do after they have broken us over and over again.

Dear women, you must be able to admit when your “Doll House” is no good, and it’s because you bought a broken KEN Doll.

Lets start with some of the mistakes women make, You meet a guy you like and he says to you: “Let me be honest with you I dnt want there to be any lies between us, I am sleeping with other people”

As women we think at least he’s being honest with me, and we aren’t officially a couple yet or we’ve only been dating for a couple months. WRONG!!! WRONG< WRONG!!!!

If a man really likes you, he will not tell you the TRUTH because he knows it will hurt you, men are naturally born "Protectors" so their natural instinct should be to protect you, not to hurt your feelings, a man who tells you he has other women, is saying "Hey i like you, and i'm sure we'll get along but it's neither here nor there to me if you don't stay, there's more of you"
If a man loves you he will lie about the things that he knows will hurt you, if he doesn't think you'll find out.

Some of you women know ahead of time that the man you’re picking up is public property!! You know he’s a dog, then you get with him, get your hopes up and then stay mad at the world when you hear about another girl he’s sleeping with, Bitch wake the fuck up everybody is fucking this man, you wanna be mad at somebody, run and tell him!
Your Ken doll is broken, bring it back ad buy a RAMBO action figure instead those last longer!

Another mistake women make, is trying to make a man come into his own, as women we are natural born nurturers, we care for a living, sometimes this blinds us to the obvious. You are not this man’s mother you cannot be raising him and disciplining him when he’s done something wrong. You sticking by his side and being supportive no matter how many girls he’s slept with in hopes that he will marry you and you will be a cute “Editorial couple” who every will envy and love, lawd jesus is it really worth it? “You ciah find a next man”?

I’ve said before women need to stop acting decent and we need to kick up rumpus and behave disorderly and I bet you these men will pull up their socks, Go to his office on his busiest day and embarrass the hell outta him by cussing on the top of your voice when he’s fucked up royally or mad you look stupid or embarrass you and I bet they will calm down.
he might leave you for your tyrant behavior, but if all the women in his life embarrass him like that eventually he will calm down. Women need to unite and work together, notice how men work together and not malice each other over women.

I’m just saying don’t blame me or any other woman for your man straying, your man is and will always be PUBLIC PROPERTY!!

xoxoxoxoxo To be honest I always thought Ken was Gay.

In a world where being yourself is often affected by the people we surround ourselves, the books we read, the programs we’re addicted to or the magazines we skim through daily. It seems being “ourselves” is not really an option, so then why should we be ourselves? what are the benefits?

Being ourself is important, our sanity is at risk. Everybody struggles with individuality issues, I wish I was someone else everyday, but my animated wishes has never stopped me from being Lauren O Lauren on any given day. You know who I am and it’s not because I’m on TV or have a blog it’s because I am myself whenever you see me. I’ve been taking a lot of ‘ME” time lately getting to rediscover myself, I had forgotten so many things about myself, like how much I love laughing so much to the point where I make everyone around me laugh. The city can be a cold place and the people in it can be empty souls, but I’m not a city girl I’m from the country, and in the country there are no social scenes, there are no hot spots, just people and places, and the person always comes with the personality and not one or the other.

Don’t allow your greed for an empty world to strip you of who you are and your morals, stay true to the things that are uniquely you. Too many people are busy competing with the persons they think are their friends, getting caught up in the constant need to be apart of the “Hype”, which becomes an addiction after a while, you keep trying to get high from it, you don’t even realize that you’re selling out the people around you, who are supposed to matter to you.

Nothing matters to you anymore, and then you matter to no one anymore, it’s a circle. Just remember the way you deal with people is the way they will deal with you, Human beings possess soul, which means we have conscience, therefore we are well aware of when we’ve done something “FUCKED UP”, Don’t worry it will come right back around, life isn’t like a man if you fuck it, it will fuck you back, promise.

xoxoxoxo Lauren O Lauren I aint a prophet I just preach a lot.

Hello everyone,
So this morning I got a phone call and the voice on the other end said get ready we’re going on a drive!! (just the way I like it, I live for spontaneous outings to far places)

So anyways we drive and we drive to this far away place surrounded by fairies and butter scotch candy leaves, hahahahahahahahah!! (I always wanted to say that) Anyways, it was kind of far though, I was at my very first “Cock Fight” this rugged place full of ghastly red dirt appropriately called Madison Square Gardens, and when I tried to take a picture with my black berry it told me I was at the Gulf of Mexico! lol

I didn’t even know we did these things in Jamaica, The chicken legs were clipped with scissors to remove all the feathers from their legs, you could see their actual leg and can I tell you they had really fit looking muscled legs!, their feathers were cut appropriately so they didn’t have excess feather all over the place.

The chickens were weighed and matched with an equal sized opponent, and after the bets were placed, seconds later I watched them put what should have been spicy BBQ wings and the rest sweet and soured and served with fried rice, but these two chickens were in a caged ring ready to fight, the bell sound and they were released unto each other.
To my surprise they didn’t just jump on each other like two mad animals, they stood in front of each other stared hard at their opponents, circled each other then attacked like human fighters, they picked, stabbed, and jumped on each other until they were both a bloody mess, and before you think this blog is about a chicken who escaped from KFC and went on to fulfill his dreams of becoming an international fighter, it’s not there’s actually a fucking lesson to be learnt so pay attention.

The chicken that was getting his ass whooped, or in this sense close to loosing his head to the other chicken, started running around the cage, just running around in circles,and trust me when I say he was injured really bad, blood spurring everywhere, i kept covering my eyes it was too “gory” to watch at the same time I imagined him being slow cooked with string beans and potatoes.
So anyways, he was running around now, and everyone was sure the other chicken was gonna win, he was chasing the injured chicken almost laughing while he did this, probably saying “I got you now motherfucker” when we thought the match was gonna end soon, the injured chicken took control when the other chicken got tired, he started fighting back and poked the winning chickens eyes out, so the chicken that was in the lead was now blind he couldn’t see, and just like that the chicken that was gonna die became the winner. Wicked twist of faith eh?

We watched a couple more, and I learned a very valuable lesson from those chickens, in the last match both chickens were blind but they still kept fighting. The lesson I learnt and the lesson I’m trying to pass on to you, is that Chickens are pretty fucking stupid!! hahahahahahaha, I’m joking, the lesson is sometimes all it takes is not giving up, and attacking your problems with a new strategy and you could end up winning. Don’t just quit because you didn’t get the immediate results that you expected, remember champions aren’t born over night, Rome wasn’t built-in a day and anything that goes up too quick will come down quicker.

xoxoxox Lauren O Lauren

Stress is most commonly described as the outside world or fragments of it affecting an individual, it can fall into two categories Internal stress or External stress, studies have proven that excessive stress leads people to poor nutritional choices, better said doing things that affect our bodies in some way or another, this includes drinking, smoking, too much ice cream or hooking up with an ex who probably has an STD by now.

Everyone experiences “spells” where they feel like giving up or just don’t want to be bothered by it all. We all know it”ll get better and that we’ll probably look back on the experience and laugh, but in the moment, you can’t see pass how angry or upset or simply just how annoyed you are.

My mother would come home from work and try on all her clothes and shoes, and talk to her reflection in the mirror asking her own opinion on the outfits she tried on, she wasn’t going anywhere but that was her mechanism for dealing with stress.

I have my own personal mechanism that works like magic, Whenever I feel like it’s getting too much for me to handle I stop whatever it is I’m doing and take myself away from the situation, I do it all the time, a situation gets bigger than me and I make sure no one can get a hold of me unless I’m ready to deal with the public again, depending on how big the situation is, usually the sanctuary of my bed room is good enough.
Within the four walls of my room, I replay the scenes or situation that has gotten me so upset, and I try to write the story over in my mind with every possible other ending, so that I can reason the situation out properly before I write the person off and burn that bridge and destroy that walk way for good.
Everyone has their remedy for dealing with stress, some people go out and socialize, I can’t be around people when I have stuff on my mind, the only thing I’m good at faking are orgasms, I can’t fake not being upset, because I’m talkative so the moment you realize I’m silent it’s obvious something is annoying me.

The important thing is to find what works for you and stick to it, because not having a system that makes you feel better will lead you into depression, depression isn’t like what you see on tv, and it takes a while for the over priced pills they will prescribe for you to begin working, and those pills will only make you feel worst because that’s how they work, make you feel worst so when you get off them, you’re right back to where you started, thus making you feel better,”systematically”.

I have a book of Buddhist stories that I read all the time, it’s all a part of my coping mechanism, I’ve read every story in there all at least ten times each, but every time I read them it’s like I’ve never read them before, it’s similar to a bible just a lot less confusing, but the stories are similar and the lessons are the same and it makes me feel better, I suppose the same way a depressed christian feels when they pick up their bible.

Thats how I cope in a stressful world what do you do?

xoxoxoxox Lauren O Lauren

Ok so I was talking to my room-mate about the Rihanna video, she happens to be an editor and she has two (2) DEGREES!!!!!!!! (Educated Jamaican). She also said she didn’t like the Rihanna video but for completely different reasons which I could relate to, which I had noticed at 1st but when I heard everybody going on, and on about this Rape thing I really got hot-headed, sex abuse against women is a very big deal to me.

She said forget the rape thing that could stay, why did they have guns in the broad daylight in Portland and why was she so classy and stylish and everyone around look hungry and poor? I saw it but was caught up with an entirely different issue so I’m doing a poll. I know a lot of you have different views, not that I care about people’s views after all I’m not the Prime Minister, no one pays me to care.
But im interested to see how many people have the same responses and to what.

Many Prophets are out there on Facebook, how many of you have received messages from people you dnt know personally who claim they know what’s best for you. They come in many shapes and sizes they don’t really mean harm, however they can be harmful if you pay too much attention to them.
I used to get a lot of these, for some strange reason I had stopped getting them for over a year i guess it’s because I wasn’t “hot for a while” but now I’m back and talk worthy. A really nice girl sent me this on Facebook:

“June 4 at 2:37am Report”
Kinda weird tht I only met u once bt huh gt a few things to say been hearin shiit abt u its all over who u fucked to be where u @ n so on nt pleasin at all. I kno u dnt kno me bt I kno ppl who actually around u most times when u party just beware of who u call ur frenz cuz they just gnna bring u down b hatin on u and ur career. Honestly I love the fact tht ur doin ur thing to get ur name out there bt just take ma advice somethings u shouldn’t tell ur close frens. Its best if u keep em to urself
Sent via Facebook Mobile

First of all I thought it was amazing that somebody was hating on my shit to the point where they felt like they needed to say “I fucked somebody to get where I am” not to mention the credit-ation that, that statement gives to my pussy! (PS exactly where am i though??)

I knew immediately that 1 this girl didn’t know me, 2 the people she claimed heard talking about me weren’t my friends either nor do I know them, nor do they hang out with me! All you have to do is read my blog to know that 1, Jamaican men are not my appetite!

She said I should be wary of who I call my friends?? I don’t call anyone my friend, everyone knows that, come on. It is necessary for people to talk about me right now! Very necessary because of what I’m doing and trying to do currently, it would make no sense if they weren’t.

That’s how life is, people will say anything they want, but that’s fine because all they’re doing is talking, Jamaica is no tiny you can’t really run from it. The girl that sent me this message looked like a highschool or six form student so she still has a lot to learn about this world, I’ve already passed that stage. I try not to hang out with Ragga Muffins, but gossip is a part of any circle.
When I do Charity and extend myself to the development of my surroundings I realize that no one talks about it? But everyone takes time to listen to me talk about rubbish, even my blog figures, the days when more people log on to my site is when i have up one of those “mixup posts” or a post talking about someone specific, when I post things about positive energy and trying to focus yourself nobody reads it! I put up a cute youtube video of my Dog playing with a flower 200 people watch it, I put a video talking about the ignorance of peoples negative reaction to Rihanna’s video, I step on a few corns and I get over a 1000 views in less than 24hrs, its that simple.

There’s this guy from Louisiana who reads all my blogs, every single thing I do he finds it, he post the most disrespectful comments, however he’s a loyal LaurenOLauren follower, what do I do? block him? nope I need him to make up count.

Anyways people, keep sweet, remember if you listen to all the negativity around you, it’s the devils way of trying to cripple you. Beyonce one said she does not use the internet, most celebs admit to not reading the gossip columns, it slows you down.

My friend Avah Taylor you can find the address to her blog here,

www.avahtaylor.wordpress.com

She tweeted about Rihanna’s new Video that was shot in Jamaica four weeks ago, let me just throw this out there, Rihanna is putting on a lot of fucking weight, I’m just saying.
Firstly I’m not a Rihanna fan, but this video made me look at her in a slightly different light, im sure she had nothing to do with the Art or direction of the video much less the story line, it was shot by Anthony Mandler a fairly good director, I said good because he came to Jamaica and shot a fucked up video for Drake sometime last year!
However I love this video, I had the watch the whole video before I got any idea of what was going on, then I had to watch it again, just because I didn’t wanna miss a thing, then I watched the making.

The video sends a very deep message, too deep for probably Rihanna’s fans to handle right now, however not a bad message. Girl goes to a party, dances with a guy and he follows her home and then raped her, she later on shot him. If all rape stories ended like that one, Jah Cure wouldn’t be here now would he? None the less I fucking love this video.

Rape is one of the most unreported crimes in the world, reason being, it really makes no sense to report rape, unless it was 100 years ago, and you’re a white girl who’s daddy owns a plantation and on that plantation one day one of the black slaves raped you, other than that, kmt!

Rape leaves behind deadly side effects be it man or woman, it’s always considered useful to get counseling, PS not from your Pastor!!!
I have read a couple of rape stories in my time, boys go on to be Gay and girls go on to be promiscuous aka Very Easy to Fuck. When a girl is raped, her mind tells her, that for a man to go against her will (this includes kicking, screaming or crying) to have sex with her, that; SEX must be very important, so if they meet a guy they like, they’re quicker to offer that guy sex in hopes he’ll stick around, sex doesn’t really mean anything to them anymore and they rarely enjoy it after a while.

Men on the other hand when they get raped as boys by other men, most times become Gay, honey I don’t know why that happens, I aint even trynna figure it out.

all I’m saying is the Rihanna video opens up eyes to one of the many kinds of “Abuse Crimes” against women and I applaud her for that:

xoxoxoxox Lauren O Lauren, them boys are cowards!!!

Let me start by saying, I have started drinking an ounce of Noni Juice everyday and I can almost feel my body feeling kinda lighter maybe its my mind. But just in case you wanted to try it, its Chiproys Noni which has been fermented for over 3 months (whatever that means) and its comes in differenr variations, the one i drink is with molasses and honey, but my stylist prefers the one with Pika Pepper!! you can get yours by calling, 876 503 0546.

Now down to the matter at hand, Our fathers. They come in many shapes and forms, but are they really all fathers? I have a dog many of you may know him, my dearest Privilege I do love him under neath it all. I brought Privilege down to my mothers, where he now lives, she takes such good care of him, I didn’t even think of my mother as an animal person, my point is every now and again I go visit them and if I feel like I buy him dog food. The weight of the responsibility is still on my mom, she has to deal with him 24/7 his growth and well being, if he gets sick in the night she has to react first.

I personally do not intend to get pregnant outside of wedlock, the women in my family don’t have the best luck in this child responsibility thing and I refuse to get stuck at home with a baby when I’d rather be at a bar drinking and laughing at the moron beside me.
A lot of men think they are great fathers because:

They got the girl pregnant and didn’t completely abandon her instead,

They live two separate places, he visits maybe if she’s lucky and has no other baby mother, once every two week.

He sends money every week depending on the needs of the child and hers as well (if she’s lucky).

Now the icing in the cake if you find a good one is he’ll take the child on holidays maybe every other holiday he’ll take the kid but only if he doesn’t have to see the child through out the course of the year.

There are a lot of men out there with that definition of what a father is, yea I know elements happen sometimes that you cant control but if you have more than one baby mother, sweetheart you have fucking issues, sort them the fuck out, and unless you plan to marry this second baby mother sort them out quick.

However there are a lot of great fathers out there, Men who did not wait until the condom broke to become good meaniful fathers, Men who would rather be home tonight watching tv’s with their kids and complaining wife than in the club with his other friends who also have “baby mothers” at home alone, but are looking at 21 year olds half naked in the club and exchanging BBM pins so they can possibly knock her up too, or fuck her and then pass her along to his best friend Jay!

There are men who value the relationships they have with their kids, there are those guys out there that if a baby father raffling is going on, you can put your life on the line, his name won’t be in it, because those are the responsible men who make great fathers, they are our Daddy Dearest’s.

Lauren O Lauren sends a HUGE Pre Fathers day shout out to all the Daddies doing their part to rid the world of broken boys and girls, we love and appreciate you.

xxoxoxoxox Lauren O Lauren

(ps if you find spelling errors in this my commuter keeps correcting things to total different words and I dnt have time to read over right now, im going Drinking, Its Y WORLD!)